Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Tis the Season to Kill Spiders, Fa La La La La,

La La La La!

I DO NOT like spiders, and spring brings out the monsters. Do spiders do anything good for us? I know they eat other pests, but really--I don't mind those other pests nearly as much as I mind the spiders!

Today at work I kept feeling something on the back of my neck. Because I wear my hair up, there are always little wisps of hair tickling me, and I worry. Today was a false alarm, but you never know!

Last week, I stopped to chat about quilting with a friend at work, and I felt something tickle the back of my neck. I figured it must be a slight breeze blowing the wisps of hair, but I brushed at the back of my neck anyway. Nothing there. Then I thought I felt something around the neckline of my shirt in the front. Again I brushed at myself, and a spider jumped onto my friend's desk! Ick! My kind and gentle friend scooped up the spider on a piece of paper, conveyed it to the floor, and stepped on it. Yay! My hero!

If that wasn't enough to give me the heebiegeebies, I learned that just a bit earlier that day, the same friend had rescued Girl Boss 2 when a spider JUMPED on her. Double ick!

The central area of our office has a high, high ceiling and is quite cavernous. Not even the best janitorial service can clean away the spider webs that accumulate up near the top. Huge! In order to maintain my sanity, I try not to look up. I don't want to know.

The worst spiders, though, are the furry black ones. They're in my garden, plotting to take over our home. Since they usually make their appearance in spring and summer, presumably they love the heat. Why, then, do they try so hard to get into an air conditioned house?

A couple weeks ago, on a hot afternoon, I was taking the garbage out when I noticed one of these guys on the sliding glass door, looking in. The really creepy thing? This particular variety of spider is waaaay intelligent! They watch us and calculate. Swear to God!

So, thinking that I might scare it away, I tapped on the glass. No deal. It sat there, still as could be, looking in at me. Slowly I slid the door open, thinking that if I moved slowly, I could get out of the house and close the door again before it got in. Good plan, I thought. Once I got through the door, I closed it quickly and turned to see what the spider was doing. Gone! Good!

Coming back from the garbage, I saw him again. He was INSIDE THE HOUSE on the sliding glass door! Okay, that's it! War had been declared! I opened the door, went inside, and grabbed a can of bug spray. Of course, because these darn things are intelligent, by the time I got back to the door, it was gone. Still, I figured if I sprayed everywhere within 5 feet of the door, I was bound to get him, right? Half a can of bug spray later, I thought that wherever he was, he wasn't feeling too good. I went to empty some more waste baskets.

Back at the door again, I looked around. Still no spider. Another trip to the garbage and back in the house with the door safely shut behind me, I turned to look around again. NOW the spider was OUTSIDE! Looking kind of curled up and ill, but outside! Houdini had nothing on these bugs! And, of course, when I looked a little later, he was gone. Probably recovered from the bug spray and building up immunity to the toxins, no doubt!

I've heard there are people out there who don't believe in killing; people who will gently escort a stray pest back outside and set it free. Really? I don't think they've ever dealt with the same spiders we have. These are NOT Buddist spiders!

I don't know what they are. I've heard people call them Wolf Spiders, but I've looked at Wolf Spiders on the internet and these aren't them. I've also checked BIG black hairy icky California spiders on the internet and these look a little like the ones I've battled wits with.


I think they called them California trap door spiders. Seriously, I can't look at spider pictures long enough to figure it out, because just looking gives me the creeps. Mini black tarantulas is what they look like except they're faster and smarter. All I can say is thank goodness they aren't so large that I can't kill them. Because although they might be smarter than me, I'm still bigger!

20 comments:

Orcsmom said...

I'm with youm I hate those pesky things! I got a bug vaccumn for my birthday last year from my hubby and son. It beat the 1/2 acre bug zapper I got for Mother's Day 3 years ago! I'm a lucky gal! See ya tomorrow night at class.

Pam

Sheri said...

I think they are called European House Spiders. Why didn't they just stay in Europe?

Beth said...

I don't like spiders either, but I'm not as scared of them as I used to be. My husband is terrified of them, I am the Official Spider Squasher in our house. But in the summer, we take the bug spray out at night and go all over the whole yard to hunt out Black Widows, we have them really bad here, he sprays about a gallon of poison on them, I just stomp on them with my shoe. The only spiders I like are these little cute ones I see now and then that actually do jump, I usually pick those up and put them back outside.

anne bebbington said...

I'm not fond of spiders but obviously not as adverse to them as you are - your post did make me chuckle - I love the way your humour shines through

tami said...

Your post gave me the heebie jeebies. I hate spiders so much I don't think I would have married anyone who is afraid like Beth's husband because then there would be no one to kill them. We would have to move all the time.
My motto is "Don't trust anything with less than 1 leg or more than 4".

Yvette said...

Now I an itchy. LOL

Anonymous said...

Oh I feel your pain. I HATE spiders. Snakes, lizards, frogs and the northwest state bird---banana slugs don't bother me at all. Spiders sure do though. I had to move your blog picture of the spider up top so I could still breathe while I read. Haha!
Up in Washington we have these huge furry dark brown ones. I mean huge. Now I've got the willies.

Molly in Sumner, WA

Marla said...

Ooh Ick! I too hate spiders. Several years ago I apparently developed an infestation of brown recluse spiders which are prevalent in the mid west among many other places. It was awful getting rid of them! I once took care of a doctor who was bitten by one of them and almost lost her leg. Nothing to fool around with.

Suzanne Kistler said...

We've been dealing with black widows lately, but Monday was the first time I remember finding one in the house. Seriously. It set up its web under the computer desk, right where I put my knees. It's a miracle that I saw her in the dark before I sat down. (She scurried away as I bent over and turned on the computer.) Despite my intense cleaning (no spray near the computer!) she was back yesterday. This morning my husband woke me at 4:35am, to tell me he'd dispatched her. My hero!

Mary said...

Wow, another with a spider phobia as bad as mine. This year I am having the yard sprayed every four months to try and keep the little buggers out. I've gotten some mighty big bites when they have silently slipped into my bed. OUCH!

Iva said...

Let me just emphatically state that I.CAN'T.STAND.SPIDERS!!! When we moved into our home here in Doo-Dah hubby was off to work at his new job and I was totally absorbed in unpacking boxes in the finished basement. Walking across the room to begin another box I spotted the biggest, hairiest wolf spider I had ever seen in my life! After gathering my wits I decided there was no way the two of us could possibly occupy that house at the same time. I ran upstairs and began to scour boxes for some kind of repellent. Horrors! No repellent, so I did what any other sane person would do: I gathered every aerosol can and pump of any flavor I could find, went back downstairs and began spritzing and spraying -- from a distant of course. After Scrubbing Bubbles, Pam, hairspray, antiseptic, and air freshener I had the cleanest, shiniest, freshest spider in the neighborhood... and he was still alive! But at least he had the decency to stay stunned long enough for me to get one of those long wardrobe boxes over the top of him to keep him in place until hubby came home.

Barbie Jo said...

You would not like living in Oklahoma. I think my house there was built on an ancient tarantula burial ground. I had to kill my spiders with a shovel LOL!!!

Kelly said...

We actually have tarantulas where I live. You don't see them too often, but in the mornings you can find their nests in the ground when its wet and the dew collects on the webs. They are actually pretty cool looking - I've seen them a few times when I'm out riding horses on the trail.

Amanda said...

Just reading some of the comments leaves me with the heebie jeebies!! Tarantulas??? No way!!!

I don't like those big wolf spiders either. I have gotten better about killing spiders, though. There is a type of spider that "writes" in my flower beds. No her name isn't Charlotte! These things are huge with really long legs and a huge body. My husband has to kill those with a shovel. They're agressive, too.

BJ said...

Ohmygosh...I came here today because I remembered your tree quilt that you made last December...figured if I got on it, I may get it done by Christmas....and then you go and scare the heck out of me!!!! Now I'm too frightened to dig in the closet for the pattern. I live in the South,and nothing is small here, especially the bugs. Oh well, now I'll have to just read some more blogs and forget about digging out the pattern, at least for today.

Eileen said...

AH! finally found something you are terrified of. Silly people. I'm sure you would LOVE our stink bugs.

AnnieO said...

We have lots of Wolf spiders and they do not look like that--they are gray and red and JUMP really far. I can't stand those spiders but most garden spiders I leave alone so they can catch flies and June bugs. On a totally unrelated note, have you seen the new photo ad for Conan O'Brien? It looks suspiciously like they copied your "nude portrait" picture on your blog. What thiefs!

Gran said...

Funny!
Oh a day without the use of my computer and look what I missed. They do bother me bkz they stop and wait to see if you're going to wap them or they are going to be able to jump at you. Creepy

Greenmare said...

ew! ew ew ew !!! I had to read really fast to get away from that dumb picture of the icky spider!!!!eeewwwww

Liz said...

Thank goodness I have a spider-killing husband! I try to stay cool, but it doesn't always work. One morning we were sharing the bathroom shaving & making up when I pulled a tissue out of the box and a "dead" spider fell on the counter in front of me. I shuddered, but he was all curled up and - well, dead! - so I took the tissue to sweep him into the trash. That is when he suddenly woke up and ran straight at me!!! I was all the way to the other end of the hall before I stopped moving, having navigated the narrow bathroom and leapt over two dogs to get there! Sounds funny now, but I wasn't laughing then!!