Thursday, May 28, 2009

Sometimes My Husband Drives Me Nuts

Is it him? Or is it just me? Sometimes I wonder.

Tonight I came home from quilt class at around 8:30 p.m. It was a HOT day out, in the high 90s. At home, the air conditioning was on, but the aimed-for temperature setting was much lower than the actual temperature reading. Why? Because Hubby forgot to turn the air conditioner on until 5:30 p.m., and by then it was so hot in the house, it was nearly impossible to cool it down. ARGH! Of course, the warmer temperature really doesn't bother him much, but maybe that's because we don't always enjoy the same leisure time activities. For instance, I DON'T SIT IN MY RECLINER ALL EVENING LONG, WITH THE MOST STRENUOUS ACTIVITY OCCURRING WHEN I PUSH THE FREAKIN CHANNEL CHANGER ON THE REMOTE!!!!

So, is it me? Is it PMS, maybe? Or menopause?

On our weekend trip, I knew I was in trouble when I got back in the car after running into Starbucks for a couple iced lattes, and Hubby said, "Boy, my back was really hurting, but now I've adjusted everything and it feels much better." What that REALLY meant is that because he was driving MY car, it will probably take me months before I can readjust everything to suit me. You see, for one thing, Hubby is about two feet taller than me. (No, not quite--more like 10"--but it SEEMS like two feet!)

Tuesday morning I got into my car to drive to work. By then, I'd forgotten all about Hubby's "adjustments," but it didn't take long before I remembered. First of all, I found myself reclining like a low rider, with my nose level with the bottom of the windshield. My legs were raised because the front of the seat was tilted up and pressing into the backs of my knees, cutting off circulation, and my feet barely reached the floor. When I tried to grab the door handle to shut the door, I couldn't reach it without unlatching my seat belt. The shoulder harness was keeping my chin nicely strapped to the head rest. And the steering wheel? Well, I'm not sure. It didn't exactly feel right, but when I tried to find the tilt adjustment, I ended up turning on the windshield wipers and spraying window cleaner fluid all over the windshield. After our long trip, all that did was smear up the windshield so I could barely see out of it--once I figured out how to fix the seat so I could see over the steering wheel. But at least the blurred windshield distracted me from the other "adjustments." Oh! The rearview and side mirrors? Freakishly, they needed no adjusting whatsoever. Weird, huh?

On the bright side, the radio station I listen to went off the air last Friday, so the only thing I've been listening to on my drives to and from work is the hum of the air conditioner--at least I didn't have to try to find "my" station after Hubby played around with the radio all weekend. And you know what's funny about not listening to the radio while driving? When you swear at other drivers, it seems MUCH louder!

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just bad tempered.

By the way, Hubby's having a bunch of his friends over Friday night to play poker. I'll be here. You may want to pray for his safety. Or you may want to send me the name of a good criminal attorney.

20 comments:

anne bebbington said...

I hate to suggest this but maybe the mirrors hadn't been adjusted because he doesn't look in them - far be it from me to cast aspertions about his driving abilities. My DH is also a good deal taller than me and we always have to alter seats when we hop in each others cars - he broke his ankle many years ago so has to drive sort of laid back - my legs are so short I have to drive in a proper sitting up position. Out of courtesy (as I drive so close to the wheel) I always push his seat back as I leave his car to avoid him doing damage to a major part of his anatomy on the bottom of the steering wheel as he gets back in his own car - he never affords me a similar courtesy so I always sink back into the rear of the car as I get in and wonder where the world's gone to

Gran said...

Between your blog and Anne from the UK's comment I need a tissue to dry my tears. You are in "rare form" this evening/morning. Of course it is not you...

Bonnie said...

What is it about guys and reclining like a low rider? I about the same height as my husband, from my knees up I am actually taller than my DH, my arms are much shorter..... but I always sit up while driving, closer to the wheel. Maybe it is genetic! Or a male/female thing. Somehow I like to be able to hold the steering wheel without stretching!

Thank goodness for air conditioning -- menopause or not it is a life saver. Smile!

Cynthia said...

More than once, I have had to explain to my DH the law of averages as they relate to a toilet seat. Because it is not "my" toilet seat, it would seem that it is OK to leave it up. Considering the law of averages...between the two of us....25% of the time (of actual seat usage) I need to sit for #1. 25% of the time I need to sit for #2. He must sit 25% of the time for #2. This leaves 25% of the time that we would actually have to leave "OUR" seat up for him to approach the #1 position. Therefore, and accordingly, I will be needing the same criminal attorney the next time I make splashdown in the middle of the night! :) Appreciate the humor this morning!

Keep smiling.

Laurie said...

Kim,

We "girls" understand fully what you are going thru! We can't live without our men and we can't shoot them. The name of an attorney is a good idea to keep on hand, but the thought of not be able to sew while sitting in a 2x4 cell just doesn't appeal to me. So, I put the deaf ear towards him (yes, I'm really deaf in one ear)..and my night goes much better!

Hope you have a great day today!

Beth said...

It isn't you, or menopause or PMS, it's him. My husband drives me bonkers sometimes too!

Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mumzie said...

Kimmie, Give him a break! He's my favorite. Mumzie :)

Yvette said...

It isn't you. If you need an accomplice, let me know. I got annoyed reading this. LOL!!

Belvie said...

I don't think I've ever commented, but I've been reading for a while. I had to comment on this one though. Sounds so much like things at my house sometimes....only difference is the poker part...LOL....mine doesn't play poker! We've been married 33 years...and even with all this....I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Nancy said...

OMG...I am laughing hysterically.
Ok, on Friday night, turn UP the air conditioner and serve Winter Foods...like hot chocolate, soup, hot bread, hot pretzels...you get the idea. SEE HOW HE LIKES IT!!!

Dawn said...

Wait just a minute...I have to pick myself up off the floor!! I'm with Gran...of course it's not you!! You've heard the saying..."can't live with them, can't live without them"!! Have a great day!!

debby said...

I discovered a way to avoid this: buy cars the family hates. The teens and hubby refused to drive my PT Cruiser and now refuse to drive my Scion (the car that looks like a box on wheels).

Keep smiliing, and store your rotary cutters off site before Friday!

Iva said...

This is just hysterical! It sounds so amazingly familiar -- we must be married to the same man :D

chris said...

I have the same problem. In fact when we bought my most recent car, I insisted on one with the memory seats. All you have to do is press the button to adjust. The problem still exists though. My husband forgets to press the button when he gets out and I physically hurt myself when I hop in the car after he's driven it!
chris

Pam said...

That is pretty funny - and I feel your pain. My husband will adjust my car seat just to move the car out of the garage and up to the road!! Drives me nuts!!

Sinta Renee said...

Kim you are an angel. Your story is humorous! It doesn't sound like PMS or menopause at all... just the facts mam. (who was that that said that?) To have your day go smoothly would be boring anyway!

Orcsmom said...

I think its YOU! J/K! Oh, ran by BP&HH, loved the cookies! Lindy and I were laughing! I picked up all of my homework, called Gran and caught up with her, and then back to the grindstone with work, its month end! YUCK! We have a rule at our house, whosever vehicle we drive, the owner has to drive it, this solves the problem of adjusting the seat and mirrors and such. See ya soon, stay cool!

Pam

Greenmare said...

the thing I hate most about when mine drives my van is that he "cleans" it out. yeah, leave that stuff alone!!! it's not really a van, it's my biggest tote bag and I NEED all that stuff!!!!

dianne said...

well ...... i'm gonna pass on any man-bashing ...... because they are such EASY TARGETS!