Decisions, Decisions

The other day I was in the grocery store. Among several other items, I needed toothpaste. Now I’ve always been a Colgate kinda gal. My mom was a dental assistant back in the 50s and 60s, and her boss preferred Colgate, so that was good enough for our family. Of course, back then, there really were only two major brands: Colgate and Crest, so it was a fairly simple decision. Have you shopped for toothpaste lately?

Most of us would choose a quilt shop that carries 5,000 bolts over one that carries 50 bolts. And most of us would shop for shoes at a store that carries a wide array of styles, colors, and sizes rather than one that carries only a few pair. Choice can be good. Choice helps us develop our own style, separate and apart from everyone else around us. But toothpaste?

There I was, in the grocery store, staring at the huge and varied selection of toothpaste. I had already narrowed it down to Colgate, which should have made it easier, but it wasn’t. When did we become a society that demands so many choices in toothpaste? And why? Did I want paste or gel? What flavor did I want? Toothpaste with baking soda? Why? In case I want to use it to bake a peppermint flavored cake? And, oddest of all, I thought, was the decision about what I wanted my toothpaste to do. Now I can see a customer needing a special toothpaste for sensitive teeth. It’s kind of like dandruff shampoo that way–something that is needed by some but not by all. But what’s the deal with tartar control versus whitening? Do people want one and not the other? "Oh, no thank you, I DO want my teeth to be white, but I don’t care if I have tartar build up." Or, "Thank goodness I can get rid of that horrible tartar without changing the nice yellow color of my teeth." Why not a toothpaste that does it all? Why make it so hard?

Life is full of choices and decisions, and right now I’m tired of it–not life; just some of the stupid decisions that have to be made. I need a secretary, a wife, and/or a housekeeper to take care of all this mundane garbage without bothering me. Frankly, between my father’s passing, helping my mom to take care of all that needs to be done, and concern about some medical issues that my husband is dealing with, I’m already on mental overload and heading toward depression. Hey, Colgate-Palmolive, if you're reading this, here's an idea for you: How about Colgate with Whitening AND Prozac? I bet it would sell like hot cakes!