And Another Thing . . .

Okay, brace yourself for the fifth thing you didn't know about me.

5. Garlic gives me gas.

Shhh! It's not something I tell just anyone! And I'm willing to bet that whoever came up with this 7 Things meme really didn't think she or he would elicit this kind of confession, but you're all my close, personal friends now, having gotten to know me so much better in reading about the first four things, so I feel I can be honest with you. And really, the only reason I bring this up today is because I made garlic bread last night, so it's something that's been on my mind a bit.

It seems the older I get, the harder it is to just enjoy a good meal without worrying about the consequences. Just a couple months ago . . . . well, it's kind of embarrassing, but since we're such good friends and all, I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone.

My husband and I had gone to bed for the night, and he was sound asleep, snoring away, while I was reading. I guess I had eaten something garlicky that night because I was having a little bit of a problem. Still, I didn't think my husband would notice in his sleep, but I was wrong. Suddenly the snoring stopped and he sat bolt upright in bed and asked, "What was that?" You have to understand that my husband has a bit of a preoccupation with the sound of gun fire, but that's another story. Suffice it to say, he's not a real sound sleeper; me, on the other hand, wouldn't wake up if someone broke into the house and fired a shot into my pillow. Anyway, I guess he was a little confused by the sudden loud noise. When he figured out what had woken him out of his snoring-punctuated sleep, he said something like, "Oh, jeez," and started laughing. Then I started laughing. Every time one of us would stop laughing and it would get quiet for a few seconds, the other would start right back up. Guys are good like that. If it had been the other way around, him waking me up, I would have been pissed!

And speaking of garlic and marriage and stuff like that, see that billboard in the background of the photo? Christopher Ranch? They grow and ship minced, chopped, and whole garlic all over the country from their ranch in Gilroy, California. The ranch is owned and run by father Don and son Bill. Every time I see those little jars in the produce section of the grocery store, I pound my head against the wall, rent my clothing, and lament the fact that I didn't happen to snag Bill when we were in high school together. Dang! I could have hooked up with a rich family! Okay, probably not. He was a popular jock who just happened to be cute, smart, and motivated too. Which is pretty much the opposite of my high school self in every way but the smart part. In any event, I'm sure with this gas thing I'm plagued with, I would have been kicked out of the family anyway. Something like that probably wouldn't make for good PR.