Stuff I Hate to Do

1. Get up on the weekend, get dressed, put on make-up, fix my hair, and go out.

Yeah, I'd really rather just be a bum and hang around the house quilting. You know the old HERMIT thing I like to do on weekends? But I wanted to go check out a few things on sale at Kohl's and then hit the grocery store to buy what I needed to make beef and barley soup in the crockpot. So I was up and out and back again by a little past noon. I didn't end up with what I THOUGHT I was going to Kohl's for, but I did get a cute wooden pumpkin wallhanging thingy that's now hanging in the front bathroom and a set of two non-stick Farberware skillets on clearance for $15 (marked down from $40-something). Last time I scrambled eggs in my old non-stick skillet, there were some crunchy bits that I think were Teflon! I hate shopping so much, I tend to wait until I'm desperate!

2. Clean the refrigerator.

This is another thing I put off. Oh, I wipe up spills as they happen and toss out any semi-liquid veggies--usually when I get home from shopping with a bag of fresh produce. But the REAL cleaning where you take EVERYTHING out and wash everything? Nope, not happening here more than a couple times a year. For one thing, the way the refrigerator fits into its nook means that I have to pull the whole thing OUT to get all the shelves and drawers out. Anyway, I did that chore today, so I think I'm set for the upcoming holiday season. I think I filled up three or four grocery bags of stuff that was out of date or that I knew we just weren't going to eat, either because of this diet we're on or just because.

And what made me do that, you may wonder? Well, one of the produce drawers kept sticking. I had pulled it out and washed it all before, but I probably didn't do a very thorough job, and it still kept sticking. Finally, the front of the plastic drawer cracked from all the pushing and pulling. It started out as a small crack, and I could still get the drawer open by pulling on the sides, but I think my son must have come over and gotten into the food, because suddenly half the front of the drawer was covered in jagged cracks.

After I got the refrigerator all cleaned, I decided the best thing to do was to mend the cracked drawer with--what else?--duct tape! I must be suffering from high testosterone levels or something because that seemed like a reasonable solution. Of course, we were all out of duct tape, so I had to run back to the store and get some. Now I have a white trash produce bin. See?

The other alternative is to track down the original paperwork that came with the refrigerator, see if there's a parts list, and order a new drawer, but that would probably mean looking through about three different drawers for the correct paperwork, and I'd probably have to clean out those drawers too, and I'm just not in the mood today. Really, all I want to do is go back to my hermit ways and head on into the Sweat Shop!

Oh, and by the way--if I EVER mention repairing upholstery or articles of clothing with duct tape, please stage an intervention!

Who Would YOU Iron Sheets For?

I FINALLY finished this quilt last night--got the binding all done. The piecing's far from perfect, but when I made it, I was playing around with some leftover blocks and a limited amount of mostly leftover fabric, and after trying to remake some of the blocks a couple times and not getting the corners lined up, I gave up and figured it just wanted to live its life as a utility quilt, not an heirloom or quilt show worthy piece. But it's very bright and springy on my bed, so I'm satisfied.

I was chatting a bit with the Mare's Nest gal about Martha Stewart--who seems to be on my mind lately--and mentioned that I think she has some neat ideas but some of what she does drives me nuts--like ironing sheets. Who in their right mind irons sheets? But, not being one to see everything simply in black and white, I started thinking about the gray areas. Was there some instance when I might be inclined to iron my sheets? This is the subject that occupied me on my drive to work.

Brad Pitt. Now maybe if Brad Pitt was expected to see my sheets, I might iron them. Do you think Angelina cares about ironed sheets? But then I don't look like Angelina either. Maybe if I had really nice sheets, he wouldn't notice I don't look like Angelina? Doubtful.

Who else? I'm not sure. Sadly enough, my fantasy life is kind of boring--or at least I'm sure it would be to most people. Mostly I fantasize about fabric. Quilt fabric, not ironed sheets. And I don't care much for ironing either. In fact, I fully embraced that look for men in casual attire--that rumpled, wrinkly look. Of course, my husband's a little rumpled and wrinkly too, so it's a natural.

And I have to wonder: If I ironed my sheets, would I be comfortable sleeping on them? Or would I lay very, very still all night, not wanting to get them wrinkled? And I think I would certainly HAVE to make the bed every morning, which I only do about 75 percent of the time now.

No, ironed sheets aren't for me, and neither is Brad Pitt, sad to say. Frankly, at this point, I'll be happy to go home tonight and find that Rocky, my daughter's boxer, hasn't slobbered on them in passing. Clean sheets--it's a GOOD thing!