Imaginary Friends

When I was young, at a time when thinking about the meaning of life seemed like a worthwhile pursuit--and when I actually had TIME for such things--I remember wondering briefly whether other people actually existed or whether, a little along the lines of Jim Carey's The Truman Show, everyone I saw was either (1) a figment of my imagination; or (2) actors in some production of my life. (Yeah, odd, I know! LOL!) Of course, I soon figured out that the story line wasn't interesting enough for a sustained production of Kim's Life, so I fairly quickly discarded that notion.

I guess if "seeing is believing," perhaps we can never be absolutely, 100 percent certain that the people we chat with on the telephone or online truly exist. Still, I'm pretty darn sure this isn't just some big dream sequence I've imagined. You who are reading this--you ARE real, right?

So, I was thinking about this idea I've seen here and there in Blogland of "imaginary friends," a term that is used to describe the people we chat with online but we never really "know" because they don't live in the same neighborhood we do, and we don't get together with them--in person--on a regular basis. And, while I certainly understand the concept behind the term "imaginary friends," I really think the idea may be more the perception of people who don't spend much time online and don't know what wonderful friendships can develop.

Yesterday, I mentioned my good friend Diane who had passed away. Diane and I never met in person, but I'm sure when I'm old and gray(er!) and looking back on my life, I'll number Diane among those friends who meant quite a lot to me. In fact, many of my closest friends are those I've met online. What does that say about me? Maybe it's my hunchback and missing eye. Well, no, actually I think I'm reasonably normal in appearance. But it may be that more ideas are exchanged in writing online than in person, because we chat through blogs or e-mail fairly often, and we do so on our own schedule, when we have time--not, as so often happens, when we run across an acquaintance, in person, and only have a few minutes to "catch up" before we have to rush off somewhere else. Our personalities come through in our words, and we reveal thoughts, ideas, dreams, and hopes that we may not blurt out to our acquaintances.

I have a few close friends, like Kathy and Lisa, who have been around long enough to know quite a lot about me, and me about them. I met them the "old fashioned" way. But I also have several close friends from my online group, and I know they aren't imaginary, because I have been lucky enough to attend two retreats with many them; also, two of my friends from our group flew out to stay with me for a quilt shop hop last year. Yep, they were real.

To me, the people I meet online are just as real as the people I see day in and day out in my office. We may never become more than acquaintances, but the potential for friendship is there--maybe even more so with those of you I meet online since many of us share a common hobby/interest. Who knows? But I do know that I appreciate you stopping by to visit me here in Blogland, especially when you leave me comments--that way, I know you're not imaginary!

Shopping with Lisa

When my two children were in elementary school, I took three years off work to stay home and be a "mom." Times were hard financially, but that time we spent together was rich in many ways, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I had a home typing business and would pick up work occasionally, but it seemed very seasonal. There were times, usually during the summer, when I would work 12 to 15 hour days and then I'd go for months with no work. That worked out fine for me--those spurts of work would give us "extra" money for Christmas or to buy the bigger things we had gone without. During the leaner times, though, I operated on a budget of about $300 a month for groceries, gas, and anything else that wasn't a mortage or utility payment. Even an outing to McDonalds for a Happy Meal had to be planned in advance and worked into the budget.

In order to make ends meet, I watched the grocery ads for bargains. One of my favorites was when one of the grocery chains would put whole chickens on sale for something like $1 each. They had a limit of two chickens per customer, so I'd call up my friend Lisa and we'd make a circuit of all the stores in the area, coming home with a car full of chickens to go into the freezer. Lisa didn't need chickens--she just came along with me so I could get around the two-chickens-per-customer rule.

Lisa got ahold of me earlier this week and invited us over tonight for a BBQ. As it turned out, her week was so hectic, she never made it to the grocery store; not a problem--we ended up meeting at a favorite Italian restaurant instead. Lisa's husband Terry and my husband went through school together, and I met Lisa when she started dating Terry, so the four of us have been close friends for over 25 years. Any time the four of us get together, we have a great time!

Lisa's life has always been hectic. She's not one to sit still for long and just relax, unless relaxing is part of some larger social obligation. She packs her life full of family, friends, work, and social events. In many ways, she and I are complete opposites. She's 6' tall and I'm 5'4". She's impulsive in many ways, except when it comes to money; I'm rarely impulsive EXCEPT when it comes to money! I've mentioned my hermit tendencies before; I'm happy spending time alone; she's happiest spending time with other people, and the more, the merrier. I'm sure she doesn't "get" quilting and wouldn't have the patience for it. Sometimes I suspect she thinks my life is pretty boring, but then I believe she understands that what I do isn't at all boring to me.

During dinner tonight, I asked Lisa if she wanted to go over to Trader Joe's after we finished eating to do a little grocery shopping--I knew she needed to go and there were some things I wanted to pick up too (so that I can be a total bum tomorrow and do my hermit thing). We sent the guys off to Borders, where they sat in the cafe, listening to a band, drinking coffee, and chatting, while Lisa and I went shopping. Pushing our carts around, we got to talking about how I used to make her come with me to buy chickens--I don't think we had gone grocery shopping together in the 15 years since.

It's funny how things change over the years but some things stay the same--like my friendship with Lisa. You really know someone's a good friend when they're willing to spend half their day with you, driving around town, buying chickens--especially when they probably had a gazillion other things planned for that day instead.

No matter how you measure friendship--perhaps in laughter, tears, or even chickens--I hope you are equally blessed with a friend like Lisa!

Hobbies and Friendships

I am blessed in many ways. Or call it lucky, depending on your view point. Over this past weekend, I was thinking about a couple of the things that I'm grateful for.

I am grateful to have a hobby I love--quilting. It engages the creative part of my mind as well as the analytical part. When I'm not pressed into thinking about anything else, my mind strays back to my quilting projects, and when I get home from work, quilting is a great way to unwind and to get something accomplished at the same time. And, not least of all, I'm grateful to have a husband who appreciates the quilting I do and encourages me in my hobby.

A few weeks ago, my boss took the day off work to have a colonoscopy. Unexpectedly, he showed up at the office in the middle of the afternoon, after the procedure. He shouldn't have. He shouldn't have been driving, but was. There was nothing at work that he needed to take care of. Why did he come in? Because he didn't have anything else to do!

My sister-in-law mentioned that sometimes she gets all her "chores" done and sits down and then wonders what she can do with herself. She does have some creative projects going on occasionally, but nothing you could really call a hobby.

A gal I work with just turned 65 and is looking at retiring this year but doesn't want to because she'll be bored with nothing to do.

Now that my kids have grown up and moved out, I'm not sure what I'd do with some of my time if it wasn't for quilting. It gives purpose and direction to my leisure hours. I can't imagine a time when I'd feel at a loss for something to do.

The other really great thing about having a hobby is meeting people and forming friendships with others who are interested and involved in the same thing. I am grateful for all my quilting friends. I've met and gotten to know many quilters who live in my area. I've also gotten to know a number of quilters who live in other parts of the country, and I treasure their friendship.

I have been a member of a small online group of 50 women for several years now. One of the first real friends I found there has since passed away, but I'm grateful for having known her, even if we never did get a chance to meet in person. I have three other close friends I've found there: Eileen in Maryland, Patty in Florida, and Kairle in Utah. I have gotten to meet these ladies a few times over the past couple years, and we correspond via e-mail quite frequently. There are several other ladies in the group that I consider my friends too; some I've met, and some I haven't, but the friendships are no less real for not having met in person.

I am also grateful for my close non-quilting friends: Lisa, whose husband and mine went to school together, and Kathy, my sister-in-law. Even though we live in the same town, we don't see each other as often as I'd like, but we do try to get together for a "girl's night out" at least once every couple months. They don't understand my obsession for quilting and probably think I'm nuts, but we have other things in common. They have been my support through all the years that I've known them--something like 27 years now.

Yes, I'm very grateful that I have found a wonderful hobby in quilting and have found wonderful friends along life's path. Both have enriched my life tremendously.