Tuesday, July 2, 2013

I Think a Hampster Died in my Keyboard

I have a Microsoft keyboard that looks like this:

Or maybe I should say it DID look like this when it was new.  Not so much now.  Over the past couple of years, the keys have gotten a little dusty and dirty along the edges and sides, and I'm wondering how to clean the keyboard well without ruining it.  You see, my normal method of cleaning most surfaces is to spray some type of cleaner (more often than not, Windex) onto a surface and wait awhile for it to soak in and loosen the dirt.  That doesn't seem like such a good idea for cleaning a keyboard.  I've gotten these things wet before and they don't like it.

So I was sitting here, pondering the gunk on the sides of my keys when it occurred to me to grab a dental floss pick and see if I could scrape or rub some of the gunk off.  After all, those things get gunk off teeth, right? 

No, I didn't floss between my keys; I tried the pointy end but it didn't scrape anything off.  But it DID pull up a bunch of dust and hair when I ran it between the keys.

Really, it was quite disturbing.  Where did all that hair COME FROM?!  It clearly wasn't my hair--or any other human hair for that matter.  In fact, I wondered whether one of my cats had learned to type and has been surfing the net while I'm at work--I'll have to check the computer's browsing history for kitty porn!

By the time I was done cleaning the spaces between the keys, I probably had enough hair to transplant onto a half-bald hampster.

And my mouse?  Well, I was on such a roll, I had to clean that too, and now I'm pretty sure there's more reason to call it a mouse than just because of its general shape.  Again:  Where did all this hair come from?

Unfortunately, my keyboard cleaning odyssey means two things:  (1) I haven't had time to do anything in the Sweat Shop this evening and (2) I'm going to have to shut down the computer now and get very serious about cleaning those keys.  If you don't hear from me for a few days, it's because I've killed the keyboard.

By the way, what in the heck do THESE dental floss picks do?  I came across them when I was looking for a photo of a dental floss pick to show you.  These guys look like they could crack a nut and then remove the residue from between the teeth, don't they?

Gotta go clean now.


Diane said...

Okay, I laughed out loud at the "kitty porn" I love the way you tell a story! But I'm kind of worried now about what might be hiding in my keyboard. Ew.

Deb said...

You should be able to pop most of your keys off. I usually use a long staple remover tool. You just put the end of the tool under the key and pry up, clean, then snap them back in place. The space bar and shift keys are more complex and I usually leave those alone.

This also makes a great April Fool's joke for those people who have to look at their keyboard to type. Simply rearrange the letters.

Nancie Anne Quilts said...

This reminds me of a Mary Ellen Hopkins presentation in which she told her audience that when she would give people directions to her quilt shop she would tell them it was next door to "The Cat House"...no...not the dubious house of ill repute with the heavy burgundy draperies...it was a kitty boutique for pampered pets...

As for your hamster building project...you can add more fur by blasting it out with a compressed air can from the office supply store!

Nancy H. said...

I love the way you write..you make me laugh! I follow a website (cleanmyspace.com) that has videos on how to clean just about everything and they have a 2 minute video on how to clean your keyboard! If you want to see it, go to the website and put 'clean your keyboard' in the search box and then scroll down. She had kitty hair under her keys too, so you are not alone!