Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Sometimes I Scare Myself

Last night, as I was doing quilting stuff, I detected an out of place chin hair. I say it was an out of place chin hair, but really it would have been right at home and in its proper place on the chin of one of the ZZ Top guys. It just didn't belong on my chin. So I stopped doing quilting stuff and got my super magnifying make-up mirror and tweezers and tidied up a bit. (Now in retrospect, maybe I should have been glad it wasn't gray, right?)

Since I already had the tools out, I thought I'd do a quick little survey for stray eyebrow hairs. (Isn't it funny that as we get older there are fewer of those but more of the chin variety? Do they drop with gravity and age like the rest of me?) As my mirrored reflection moved from my chin, up past my nose (nose forrest still contained,check), and upward toward my eyebrows, I stopped, looked closer, dropped the mirror, and screamed!

Well, I didn't scream aloud, really, but I felt like I screamed in my head. Because what I saw in each eye were two--TWO!--broken blood vessels! What?! Had I suffered a small stroke? An aneurysm maybe? What is there about doing quilting stuff and plucking chin hairs that would cause bloodshot eyes?

"Okay," I told myself, "don't panic. Think for a minute." So I did and I still had no explanation. Surely it was something serious and life-threatening though.

Whenever I'm certain I'm dying of some terrible disease, just as soon as I've made the diagnosis, my next reaction is denial. So, true to form, I set aside the mirror and went back to doing quilting stuff, trying my best to forget about my stroke and/or aneurysm. And you know what? About an hour later, my eyes started itching due to allergies, so I closed them and rubbed my eyelids to make the itching stop. Eureka! I suddenly remembered doing the same thing earlier in the evening! So I think there's about an 85 percent chance my bloodshot eyes weren't caused by a stroke or aneurysm, after all!

I'd totally have gone out to celebrate last night, but you know what? My throat is kind of scratchy and my voice is a little hoarse, so I think I probably have throat cancer. Or maybe a bio terrorist infected me with bird flu, because my nose is kind of runny too. So I thought it would be better if I just went back to doing quilting stuff and tried to forget the whole thing.

15 comments:

Donna said...

I love reading your blog...it is so entertaining and I can so relate to it!

Bianca said...

Very funny!! LOL
What a beautiful thing quilting is! It saves you from all things evil.
Hope you feel better soon.

Love your background b.t.w.
Bianca

Joyce said...

You brighten the morning! Quilting cures all...I'm a nurse, I know these things!! Have a great day.

Pat / Silver Thimble Quilt Co. said...

HAHAHAHA you and I are cut from the same cloth. I have had a back ache and convinced myself I had cancer..or I needed a new chair for my sewing room with a new machine to go with it!!!

Yvonne said...

After reading you for what seems like forever, you never fail to brighten my mornings. You're a funny girl!!!!

Teresa in Music City said...

Too funny! I think we all do that to some extent, don't we? Some more than others of course. My daughter is terrible about thinking the worst immediately! I'm glad you discovered the reason and could get back to the important stuff like quilting quickly! :*)

Jen in NY said...

LOL Kim, I do the same thing. Convince myself I have a horrible disease and then deny it. But it's such a relief when we realize it's ok! Good times.

Denise in PA said...

Kim, I am so glad your got over your stroke/aneurysm so quickly - whew! Come to think of it, I haven't had to pluck an errant eyebrow hair in years now! Hmmmm. (The chin ones, maybe once or twice o:( )

Tina said...

You are HYSTERICAL!!!! Isn't getting old(er) a challenge? I'd like to know what happened to my eyelashes!!!

Anonymous said...

What is it with the chin hairs? You merrily go about your day and all of a sudden you touch this thing on your chin and it's almost an inch long. You didn't notice it yesterday. How can it grow so long and you don't notice them? Thanks for sharing, you brighten my day.
cindy

Anonymous said...

You are too funny! I love to read your blog, never know what will be there! LOL

Doris R.
Quiltmamma@aol.com

Miss Jean said...

Oh, you are sooooo funny. Who would think those things? Ahem, me!!!!!I'm the exact same way. Bug bite - skin cancer. Headache - brain tumor. The list goes on. It's my dirty little secret!

Nancy H. said...

You are hysterical! I can so relate to your thought process too! I really look forward to reading your blog. You make me laugh. Thanks!

Julie said...

I am so sorry you are dying before we get the chance to bury our husband's in the back garden. I'll be sure to speak fast at your funeral, make a brief entrance and then will rush over to help your husband clean out that stash. What are friends for????

Josie McRazie said...

Laughing and crying at the same time because I can TOTALLY relate (However my chinny chin chin hairs ARE grey!! Uugh!!)