Friday, December 16, 2011

Oh Noooooooooooo!

Since I returned to work following the latest carpal tunnel surgery, in the absence of my boss I've done some overflow work for other attorneys in the office. A few weeks ago, I was listening to a piece of dictation that began something like this: "Noooooo! Sh$t! This thing is broken! Oh, nooooooooooooooo!" I figured out fairly quickly that the attorney was having some kind of trouble with the recording device, and when the actual dictation picked up, it did so mid sentence. After considering the situation for a minute, I decided to transcribe the dictation verbatim so the attorney would know WHY the typing began mid sentence.

I'd forgotten all about it a few days later when I heard the attorney start to laugh and say, "Oh nooooooo. Noooooooooooooo! Mr. Bill...." Of course, she'd picked up the draft of that particular dictation for review, and she and I had a good laugh. End of story, or so I thought.

On Monday I came to work to find Mr. Bill sitting on my computer. Oh, boy! A new toy! Again the attorney and I had a good chuckle and over the next couple days, I had fun posing Mr. Bill.

Unfortunately, Mr. Bill has come in for some harrassment of late. While we were at the office holiday party yesterday, someone took Mr. Bill from my desk. I finally found him amid the holiday decorations at another secretary's desk; she denied any knowledge or involvement. The attorney who originally gave me Mr. Bill rescued him and returned him home to my desk, and I went about the rest of the day's business.

Mr. Bill's challenges didn't end with his return home. I was asked to to cover the phones when our receptionist had to leave early for a doctor appointment. Using a long rubberband, I carefully teathered Mr. Bill to the Christmas tree at my desk for his own safety and protection, but when I returned to my desk, the rubberband had been cut, and Mr. Bill was nowhere to be found.

Before leaving the office, I put up posters and sent out an email asking for information about Mr. Bill's kidnapping.


I have my suspicions, and I don't think it's Sluggo or Mr. Hands. Seriously, what could be more frightening than a toy thief at this time of the year? I just hope Mr. Bill isn't cold, hungry, and lonely somewhere tonight. Hold on, Mr. Bill! We'll save you!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

HYSTERICAL!! How on earth did you create that perfect poster?? Florence

Judy in Michigan said...

Just the thing to jump start my sleepy morning!!! Thanks.
I have a similar story...an outdoor plastic snowman mysteriously disappeared one night from my friends front porch. Soon afterwards, she received a post card from the snowman pleading for her to meet the demands of the snowman-napper - the funny part was that the post card was from some other city (like far away). The post cards continued for one year - always from a different location. No one would 'fess up to who took the snowman but finally it was returned the next December. We are still laughing over that one many years later. BTW, we still don't know for sure who stole the snowman!!

Merry Christmas Kim!!!

Anna said...

ROFLOL...hey...I think I just saw him pass by my street!

Belinda said...

OH NO!

dianne said...

ha ha ha!!! that happened to one of my bosses' little Redskins Bear (hey - this BRONCO country - what did he expect?!?) - ransom notes, milk carton and all - he wasn't as good-natured about it as you, though, and, being an ex-Marine, confined all of us to our quarters till the perp fessed up...

every party needs a pooper...

Rhonda said...

I'm about to wet my pants I've laughed so hard. Great and funny post!!!

Josie McRazie said...

poor Mr. Bill! I do so hope he is safe! I hope you do not get naughty pics of him tied up somewhere! Or worse... (I know he is prone to accidents and such!)LOL Thanks for the chuckle!

Miss Jean said...

You are going to need a good attorney when you find him. Can you do that?

I think it's sad that there is an entire generation out there that do not know a thing about "OH, no, Mr. Bill!!!!!"

Deb said...

You are SO funny, at least I get a laugh nearly every day from your blog. Thanks!

Gran - Knot-y Embroidery Lady said...

Sure hope that Mr. Bill does not need any special medical help ie diabetic meds., allergy epi pens, etc., etc. Tootles

Me and My Stitches said...

I believe there are villains during every holiday. I had the same problem one Halloween - my mini pumpkin was abducted by an evil co-worker. I received numerous ransom notes (requesting the treat jar be kept full) with pictures of the lil' pumpkin blindfolded and being held at knife-point. Fortunately pool lil' punky was returned to me via US mail. Hope Bill has a safe holiday season.

Nancy H. said...

So sorry to hear about Mr. Bill's misfortunes but your telling of it has given me a good laugh. I even read your blog to my husband and now he wants me to keep him informed of Mr. Bill's fate. I hope I will be able to relay good news to him soon. Good luck and thanks for the chuckles.

Sandie ~call me crazy said...

Oh no! Poor Mr Bill! LOL Loved this post! My Santa pattern arrived today~ thank you again!! :-) Have a great weekend!

Amy said...

"Thank you," she said, while wiping the tears from her eyes. We need more humor in the workplace! It's refreshing to hear that you work AND play hard.

Quilt Hollow said...

Without doubt I always come here and just crack up laughing!! I've read both post of Mr. Bill. Oooooooooooo so glad he is safely home.