Thursday, May 19, 2011

Rapture

No, I'm not talking about how I feel about spending a day in the Sweat Shop. I'm talking biblical. You know it's coming this Saturday, right? May 21, 2011, according to Harold Camping and Family Radio.

Did I talk about this before? I remember thinking about writing a blog post when I started seeing billboards in our area, but I don't remember whether I did.

Well, I suppose it has to happen someday, but I'm pretty skeptical about the May 21st date. How did Camping calculate that particular date? I'll paste in an excerpt from an article you can find HERE.

"Here's the gist of Camping's calculation: He believes Christ was crucified on April 1, 33 A.D., exactly 722,500 days before May 21, 2011. That number, 722,500, is the square of 5 x 10 x 17. In Camping's numerological system, 5 represents atonement, 10 means completeness, and seventeen means heaven. 'Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story,' Camping said on his Oakland-based talk show, Family Radio, last year. 'It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved.' He added, 'I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that.'"

So what's going to happen on Saturday? A huge, world wide earthquake will occur. It will be so tremendous that graves will open and all of the good Christians will ascend into Heaven. Thereafter, the rest of us--and I'm guessing that will include me for many reasons, not the least of which is the way I poke fun at the apocalypse--will hang around on Earth for another five months suffering all the tortures of aitch-e-double ell.

At 50-something, I've seen a lot of end-of-the-world deadlines come and go. The first time I remember was when I was in elementary school and an earthquake was supposed to crumble California into the ocean. For days I was really, really worried, especially since it was supposed to happen the day before Easter at 3 in the afternoon, and I knew I couldn't swim well enough to survive in the ocean long enough for the Easter bunny's visit. On that Saturday afternoon, my family dyed Easter eggs, and when I checked the clock, the deadline had already passed. I can't tell you how relieved I was!

At work today I was thinking about this newest end of the world prediction and wondering what would happen if . . . . So I thought I should email the people in charge of personnel and let them know there was an outside possibility I wouldn't be at work on Monday. Here's my email, which I titled "In Case I'm Not Here on Monday":

"I just wanted to remind you that Saturday, May 21st, is Judgment Day, and while it's NOT the end of the world (which is to occur on October 21st), it IS the day on which Christians will rise up to Heaven. However, unless God is awfully liberal about the whole Christian thing, I don't think I'll be in that group. So I SHOULD be here for the next five months, at least. But also? There are a couple staff members who might be in that first group through the gates, so let me know if there's anything I can do next week to fill in if they're gone."

Yeah, I already know I'm bad--you don't need to tell me. But I really can't take end of world predictions very seriously. Still, I think I'll hold off on cleaning house until Sunday. Just in case I'm wrong.

21 comments:

Jane said...

I'm pretty sure I'm not going with that first group so maybe we can think of something else to do while we're waiting for The End. I have a couple ideas already and Vicky probably has some more. (I don't think she's going to be in group one either.)
Great post! Thanks for the laugh!

Suzan said...

All I know is that I am staying off the road on Saturday 'cause there might be a bunch of cars without drivers all of a sudden! (I, of course, will not be one of those disappearing.) I am pretty sure there will be a number of disappointed folks on Sunday.

Eloisa said...

Vuelvo a trabajar el martes,bueno al menos trabajaré unos meses,ya que creo que en la primera actuación yo tampoco voy a desaparecer,un beso.

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

I love you...and I would enjoy getting that email!
As I'm not sure which end of world group I'll be in, I'll hopefully read you again soon!!
Cheers, Tracey

Nancy, Near Philadelphia said...

One of my favorite parts of this thing is that the earthquakes will occur at 6:00 p.m. IN EACH TIME ZONE. As though there WERE time zones back in Biblical times . . . . . Nonetheless, I've arranged for pet care on the off chance I'm raptured.

AMKreations said...

Actually, it's quite sad that a person who claims to read the Bible skips over the part that says "NO one knows the day or time, but the FATHER!" Saturday will most definitely come and go and the foolish will once again be revealed as they are. And if you're interested in some reading on WHY Christ isn't going to return on Saturday, my BIL has written some Biblical info on his blog...here...
http://wie-ein-kropf.blogspot.com/2011/05/why-christ-will-not-return-on-may-21st.html

Have a great weekend!

Ann J said...

I really enjoyed this post, Kim, it's brightened up my day!! One good thing though, should it happen, us 'bad uns' will have lots of 'good'company :-)

Luv...............Ann J

Melissa said...

OMGosh, thanks for my first laugh of the day. I agree with the previous posters who said that at least those of us left behind will be in good company :)

Kris said...

Good plan, holding off on the cleaning. Hey. On the off chance that the world does end you'll be a little more refreshed than the rest of us who spend Saturday cleaning!

Vicky said...

ROFLOL. Jane, I'll give you a call to find out what you and Kim and I will be doing on Sunday! Kim, sorry, but I won't be cleaning house. I'll probably be out driving around enjoying the open freeways and uncrowded intersections!

Kelly said...

I'll tell you, I will sure be cranky if the world ends on the 21st. Work the whole week just to have the world end. I would really prefer an ending very early on a Monday!

P. said...

First big laugh of the day. Thanks for that! :)

Richelle said...

I will still be here with you. I think I will have my family help in cleaning up the place and then hope for the best that they are taken - then I can have a nice clean house and I will know who made the mess. Also, uninterrupted quilting time all to myself!

JoAnne said...

Oh crap! I just signed up for a block of the month! Even if I hang around for the five months, it will all be over in October? Hmm, leaving behind an unfinished object? Not good!... LOL!!

Sinta Renee said...

I had no idea... I thought the
hub-ub was 12-21! I guess I will never get my 11 done in 2011 if this is the case- darn! I guess now it won't be important to share this: This year, July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens
once every 823 years.

Hand Quilting Nana said...

Well just in case I'm not going to start my new diet until Sunday. I figure why should I go without all that sugar today and tomorrow if the world's going to end.

Linda

Quilt Hollow said...

Point well taken....though why waste Sunday on cleaning....let's shoot for next week! LOL

pink-a-palooza said...

lol..The biggest issue with this "new" date is...Harold has done this time and time again. His ignorant cult followers dont seem to have very good memories! ba ha ha... As another poster said, "no one knows the time or date" nuff said...
Gael

Gran - Knot-y Embroidery Lady said...

Let's have lunch on Monday ... And what the heck are you listening to that radio station for anyways?! eh

Josie McRazie said...

I love when someone can admit their 'shortcomings'!! I, too will NOT be one swept away on Saturday (not that I buy into this) but I LOVED thae giggle! I just can't believe that people think they are all knowing or all seeing!! silly people!! it is all math math math!!

Your oldest best Bro in law said...

Thanks goodness the earthquakes don't start until 6PM. It's tiddley time at 5 PM. I think I'll open that bottle of Syrah I have been saving.