Friday, February 4, 2011

So What Do You Want?


I was watching TV and quilting the other night, and a commercial came on designed to persuade men that a teddy bear is the absolute BEST Valentine's Day gift he could buy his spouse or girlfriend--every woman wants one and she'll be the envy of all her friends if her man buys her one. Really? Then there's the sister company that has similar ads for pajamas. You've seen them, right?

I don't much like getting gifts. A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about Hubby's lack of understanding when it comes to gift giving and my own emotional difficulties in handling that kind of situation--lots of mixed feelings. Boy, what I said sure got a rise out of my readers! Some women were downright angry at my ungrateful attitude, so I'm not going to go there again. But another blogger commented--and you'll know who you are if you're reading this--about how her husband went off to the store and surprised her with a lovely bouquet of plastic roses. So you see what I'm talking about? I think a lot of guys don't know what we want, and TV advertisements take advantage of that, don't you think?

Seriously, I'm sure some of us would like stuffed bears or pajamas--there's nothing wrong with them. I just don't think they have universal appeal the way they're advertised. So what do you want? For myself, I think if Hubby was to ask what I wanted--and push me into picking SOMETHING tangible instead of my usual suggestion that we just have dinner out together and/or go to a movie--I might pick something like a starter Pandora charm bracelet. Maybe. You see, I just haven't given it very much thought, because I don't really enjoy gifts, but I think those are kind of cool.

I'm curious, though, about all of you. What would you pick if you had to tell somewhat what you wanted from a spouse or significant other for Valentine's Day? And you have to pick something tangible and not an event (like my date night) or warm and fuzzy/touchy-feelie emotional stuff like world peace, the end of animal cruelty, and breakfast in bed the next morning. 'Cause that's what I'd pick if I could. That and dinner out.

43 comments:

Val said...

What are you doing up at 12am? It's only 6:30pm here in Brisbane. Your right about gifts. The only thing I really like as a surprise is chocolates because it is pretty hard to pick chocolates I don't like. We don't celebrate Valentines Day in our household so maybe world peace would be good. Hope you get something you like.

LibbiesHome said...

I'm cracking up that you noticed those commericals, too! I was just pointing them out to my husband. We don't exchange gifts on Valentine's day usually, but the first thing that popped into my head was a guilt free shopping spree at my favorite quilt shop! :)

Fiesta said...

Hubby and I stopped the Valentine commercialism years ago. If he were to get me something it would be a plant to put in my garden where he could pick flowers anytime.

Donna said...

Fabric, please. The ladies at the local quilt store know what I have been drooling over. They will be happy to assist.

Wilma NC said...

I don't much like gifts either, but I am always happy to get some flowers, even from the grocery store. Dave has always said that valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday.

Katie said...

A teddy bear? Are we 5 years old? Ugh. I want jewelry, my husband knows. Every year a silver Tiffany charm, thank you ;-)

Staci said...

I know what you are saying with the gifts. We've been married 30 years, and my husband still can't get it right, and too much chance of hurt feelings or at least serious awkwardness! I'd rather just skip it! Dinner out, that is always my choice. You can't mess it up!

Melissa said...

We're not big on gift's for Valentine's Day, but if he asked, right now I've got my eye on the EQ7. I probably don't need it (yet) but I'd like one sometime before the year is out :)

ohiofarmgirl said...

You idea of a Pandora bracelet...great idea!!! But really, my dh sometimes isn't the best at choosing a gift but I have had my eye on a necklace to put a few charms on...not very expensive...$20...but I would be delighted!! But really, he is thoughtful and that is what means the most. Dianntha

tpott said...

I'd alway say fabric, fabric and more fabric or a gift certificate to a fabric store. It always fits and , you can never have enough.... ;)

PunkiePie (Jen) said...

I like presents and I drop lots of hints but sometimes the husband goes off the grid. LOL! 3 years ago he DID listen and I got one of those Jane Seymour Open Heart necklaces. I wear it every day and get compliments on it all the time. This year, I don't know if I'll be getting anything but if I had my wish, I would like a gc to the FQS or a bead for my bracelet. I have a Pandora and it is cool. It can get heavy though once you have all kinds of beads on it so I switch them out.

Kim said...

We've been married 35 years, and we don't exchange Valentine's gifts. The lack of money in our early years cut that out, and now we just don't need to. We do go out for dinner and a movie. BUT, if money were no object I'm coveting two things right now--an ipad and a AccuQuilt Go! Teddy bear... not so much. Pjs--well I can always use a nice flannel pair this time of year!

Beth said...

Are you talking about me when I got the silk roses or did some other husband do it too? LOL We don't do Valentine's Day at our house anymore, it's safer. Ha!

Glenda in Florida said...

Hmmm, the best Valentine's gift I ever got was the year I found a little cut out sticky note on the newspaper ad for a sale at the sewing machine store--that said "Happy Valentine's Day. Please buy the sewing machine you need & be my Valentine." That was 13 years ago, and I still have the note and the sewing machine :-) Bernie does like new thread and fabric, and hubby is real good on our travels about stopping at quilt shops. I think I'll keep him for another 34 years!

Melissa said...

What fun!!! For as long as I can remember, I have asked the kids and Greg to give me a clean house for any holiday or my birthday. It is so nice to turn that chore over to them for a bit:) If I had to choose something for him to buy for me, it would be flowers- any kind:) I love fresh flowers in the house and he always chooses the best ones that are in season. Having said that, fabric is always a good choice, of course!!!

Nancy said...

OMG...I commented on that very commericial last night...although it was on talk radio and this guy was trying so hard to sell those teddy bears and something called Sherries Berries...which sounded good as they were chocolate covered strawberries...
I told my husband that I was appalled..what grown woman wants a friggin teddy bear for Valentines day...For that matter I don't give stuffed animals for gifts at all as they are worthless...
Ok off the soapbox ...
ME? I would want a nice card (which I usually get).. One year I did get a weekend trip to Chicago with plane tickets and a hotel and was shocked...

Anonymous said...

My hubbie and the guys discussed Valentine's day and decided it was too commercial, must agree. Why limit it to one day of year. As for the ideal gift, fabric popped into my mind also. My hubbie is on a first name basis with the girls at the quilt store, he knows the way to my heart.

Quilty Conscience said...

Oh my goodness! Don't get me started. We say we no longer celebrate Valentines Day but the lil' stinker sometimes surprises me so I always have to have something in reserve. And for all holidays I am not a girl that wears jewelery but I can tell you I have more items than I want from the TV advertised, insert an initial " " here. I personally would like a laptop, we only have one computer with two competing users. Or a Juki! Fun to think about!

debbie said...

LOL, I don't watch much tv and have never seen those ads, but when an ad comes on that says "Guys, your girl just can't live without...", I make sure to say OUTLOUD, MR I do Not want that, OK? I also request that he answer verbally while looking at the commercial so maybe it will sink in.
He sometimes buys me a card, but some times we make our own. Some times they are crafty, but sometimes they are just little notes, what we call "Bad Poetry", I love those!!! And I always get a variety of dark chocolate bars. For the last few years for either our aniversary or v-day he makes me a wooden quilt block to hang on the wall. They are in my sewing room for now. I have 5 "pieced" blocks and one "applique" heart. They are of course all pieced from different types of wood, such as Cherry, Oak, Maple, Black Walnut. One of the things I like best is they are mostly made from scraps of wood that do not have much of a use otherwise. It may sound corny to most, but I love those. He has taken the time from his busy life to make me something with his own two hands, from his heart. He understands color and contrast. He picks what he will make, and it's always well made. All that being said, I have to put the finish on them. He is not a finisher, and by that I mean, he has more unfinished projects than me...and I'm a quilter, nuf said!

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

First off, I've always had a hard time receiving gifts too, whether from my hubby or family or friends. BUT over the years there is something I think I've learned. There are some people that are gift givers. They love doing that to show their love or appreciation. When we were first married, we had little money for gifts, but my hubby always found some little thing. I used to get upset about him spending the money, and even took things back!!! Then one day, he stopped sending flowers, or giving me gifts. And truthfully I MISSED IT!! I realized that it was his way of saying he loved me. So now if there is something that I would like, I mention it to him. Like at Christmas I told him I wanted a birdbath for our backyard. And if he sends me flowers, I love every single stem. Because really in the end Kim, we don't know how many days we will have together, and I want to cherish these special memories.

Kim West said...

Generally we don't make a huge production out of Valentine's day because our anniversary is just two weeks before - We celebrate Groundhog's Day more fervently (the day our anniversary is on).

If I were to ask for something for Valentine's Day - I would probably ask for a batch of flowers from the supermarket - but since hubby won't even be home this year for V Day, I am not even concerned.

LymeRicky said...

My husband and I decided when we first got married that Valentine's Day and our anniversary were days to be celebrated together -- so we choose one item for both of us. Every year it varies -- music, an event, a movie, but it is always something we both want and both can enjoy together.

It's become a fun way to talk about what we like, our common interests and has helped us to make sure our marriage is a team effort.

For the record, a teddy bear has never been on the list :)

Deb said...

We normally don't celebrate Valentines...we've been married 32 years now. However, if we did, like every other occasion I tell him to buy me a gift certificate to my favorite quilt store...he can't go wrong when he does that! I don't like to waste hard earned money on flowers that will die, or candy that will make me gain more weight. At least with the gift certificate I can purchase what I'd really like to have for my quilting enjoyment!

JoAnne said...

I love some of these comments, like Fiesta, I much prefer my flowers (for Mother's Day and Anniversary--also beginning of May) with roots, from the garden shop! For Valentine's Day, we just have a date night. Have you ever noticed that no one advertises gifts for men for these holidays? Anyway, when it does come to a gift for me, maybe my birthday, I so much more prefer the "thought" or "effort" than the easy, maybe expensive, solution. If my husband goes way out of his comfort zone and spends 75 cents (long story there) I'm more delighted than a $75 piece of jewelry!

sunny said...

My hubby and I don't do much for gifts, either. We usually go out for dinner, and he'll stop somewhere on the way home from work and buy one rose for me. Which is great, actually - it's the thought that counts (right?) and there's no huge credit card bill to pay. He had gift-giving trauma with his first wife, and has never recovered. LOL!

Debbie said...

I roll my eyes every time I hear that teddy bear commercial...so not what a woman wants! My husband says I am the most unromantic person. In my younger days jewelry was always welcome but now I never wear any. I have a pandora bracelet...it is heavy with all the charms and I can't get it on by myself so I have never worn it. He always bought me a dozen roses for V-day until I told him to stop...I couldn't stand the thought of how much they cost...I'm just too practical...I always thought about how many plants I could by for my yard with that money! We stopped going out on V-day because it is packed everywhere and often even the best restaurants in our area serve limited menus that day...it left me feeling jipped after a very expensive meal. A few years ago my husband found the perfect gift for me...Dansco clogs that are hand painted by a local artist. I love them and best of all he came up with the idea. I would never spend that kind of money on shoes I was buying for myself but getting them as a gift makes it okay with me...and they truly are one-of-a-kind. I'm very lucky to be so loved!

Lady of the Cloth said...

I laugh every time I hear those commercials, I guess I'm not the only one, huh?
My hubby doesn't have a clue either, but if he did, I would want jewelry, perfume or flowers. I heard once that you can't go wrong with one of those 3, so if that's true, I'm pretty main stream. Will I get one of those 3, probably not. DH teases that he runs to the 7-ll for all my gifts and it's not too far from true. I do appreciate the effort though.

Julie said...

I told my husband that saying "I love you" is really a gift--without my having to say it first. Also, holding my hand as we walk is a gift--a sign of "I love you." These are things he doesn't do regularly and it is a learned behavior. No one in his family does this. But if I were to get a gift (and we aren't valentine's day gift giving) I could enjoy a new DVD movie or, of course, fabric.

Lee Ann said...

I am in the minority in that I don't like gifts given around holidays. They seem forced, contrived and whatnot. I don't have a problem with random surprise gifts. I am a girl that gets tickled over the silliest things.

For example, my husband would bring home t-shirts from his company. He knows that I love them, especially the large, for PJs. He recently snagged a rare long sleeved on for me and it was just right for me to wear when out and about running errands. That was pure love for me.

He also will bring home little things such as homemade cookies his co workers bring to the office.

Simple random things that I enjoy make me feel loved and it doesn't matter if they're free. What matters is that he thought of me and, almost always, the item(s) thrill me because it's something I use and/or enjoy.

Sinta Renee said...

Well, I love gifts and flowers... not so much "roses" but pretty flowers, cut or potted. I do have a Pandora bracelet, and a little momento for that would be wonderful. I would love to go for a drive (in Yosemite, or the beach)but I guess that's not a tangable. I'm happy with a dish, a book a picture a new coffee mug! It doesn't take much to thrill me!

Bonny said...

A years subscription to Australian's Homespun magazine:)

Micki said...

For every occasion, except Valentine's I tell Joe what to get me...that way I get what I want and need For Valentine's he usually gets me some flowers and we go out to our favorite coffee shop. I say to tell hubby what you want and let him get it...best way for sure.
Micki

Katie said...

What I DON'T want is chocolate! If he showed up with diamonds or a silk nightie I'd be thrilled....but I'm not holding my breath. :-) Really though, I'd just like something that takes a little bit of though, and shows how well he knows me. Damn...now I need to do the same!

Mad about Craft said...

Flowers for Valentine's Day but I wouldn't be upset if he didn't bother, as I feel it's just an excuse to get us to buy things we don't really need.

I really do like a card though, with a suitable verse. Us Brits like our cards!

Lisa Boyer said...

I'm coming out of "lurkdom" just to answer this one. I love electronics! I love small appliances! I love cookware! I love all those presents you're not supposed to buy for a woman (like a vacuumn cleaner--I would just LOVE another vacuum cleaner...). But all the advice columns tell men that they should never buy women those things...sigh. Chocolate, flowers, clothes, jewelry, nightgowns...BO-RING. A teddy bear? No way. Maybe when I was six!

Deb said...

Oh my gosh, I am so with you on this. An old boyfriend gave me a kettle once for my birthday. My ex husband gave me a concrete toad smoking a cigar! Eeewww!! That is why they are both exes!! lol I was with my hubby for 14 years and he could never get it right. He had such bad taste when it came to gift giving. I ended up giving him a list of shops he was allowed to shop at for my gifts!!

I never expect big gifts, but I expect them to think about what I like and what I would appreciate....jewellery, quilting stuff, vouchers, books,

My hubby made me a cookbook holder a couple of years ago and that remains one of my fav gifts ever.

Marie said...

A weekend away. We usually try to give something like that which has more meaning to both of us. i agree about gifts, only in our house it is the reverse. He does ok but i don't - so that's why things like a weekend away (or theater tickets).

Hugs - Marie

Julie said...

I replied earlier today, but I want to change my mind. I want a love letter. A love letter written by my husband to me and sent to me. That is tangible proof of love. Napolean Bonaparte wrote more than 75,000 letters and most of those were love letters to Josephine. John and Abigail Adams wrote 1100 letters to each other. Imagine someone loves you so throughly to write: Should I draw you the picture of my heart, it would be what I hope you would still Love; tho it contained nothing New; the early possesion you obtained there; and the absolute power you have ever maintainedover it;leaves not the smallest space unoocupied.

That is real love!

Lynn said...

My husband actually sent me this link last year, you may enjoy this commentary on men picking out gifts for their wives
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F2md4uGmMU

CaraQuilts said...

I'd love a clean kitchen. Seriously that and someone else at least cleaning up after dinner would be the best gift for me.

dianne said...

i gots no sweetheart, but iffin' i did (and he had money to spare) i would ask him to buy a Bronco outfit from Build-A-Bear for Singe ... who is a DRAGON, not a teddy bear

I am Just One Mom said...

love notes taped to my sewing machine! I will tape my love notes to my hubs on his briefcase.

Gran - Knot-y Embroidery Lady said...

What is Valentines Day?