Friday, December 17, 2010

Maybe It's Contageous?

I'm sorry so many of us are grumpy, but it's a naturally stressful time of the year, and I think the holidays increase the grump factor two- or three-fold.

What's caused my grump is Hubby--and maybe some of you could attribute your grumpies to a similar source, although for different reasons. I told you the other day that Hubby tipped over in his new-to-him electric scooter/wheelchair and broke his finger. Dumb accident. So here's what's happened since and a bit of why I'm so grumpy about all of it.

Yes, they decided Hubby needed surgery. (They'll also be testing him for osteoporosis a little later in the month.) Yesterday (Wednesday), the orthopedic department at the medical center sent him off to the main hospital facility to see a specialist for surgery because xrays determined he had shattered his knuckle and had five to seven bone fragments floating around; so the bones in the finger would need to be pinned. The ortho guys thought the surgeon would operate on Wednesday, so the Wild Child ferried Hubby around all day, from one appointment to another until they confirmed, at the end of the day, that they wouldn't be able to do surgery until today (Thursday) because they didn't have the device they needed. They were Fed Ex'ing it in, and they scheduled surgery for Thursday afternoon at 2 p.m., with Hubby to be admitted for pre-op prep at 12:30 p.m. So I arranged to take the day off to take Hubby to have surgery.

And on Wednesday night, Hubby decided he couldn't get out of his recliner very easily with the broken finger, and he thought moving the furniture around would help. Remember Hubby has muscular dystrophy? We try to do what we can to make things easier for him, but I gotta tell you, moving the furniture around when there's a Christmas tree and decorations taking up room is not something I'd undertake lightly, but that's what we did, the Wild Child and I--we moved the furniture around in the living room.

You know when you go into a thrift store and they have a bunch of furniture sitting around in no particular--or pleasing--order? That's what my living room looked like, and it was neither comfortable, attractive, nor easy to move around in. But we moved the furniture the way Hubby wanted it in hopes that things would be at the right heights to push up off of without using his injured hand. And although I really hated the way it looked, I might have gone along with it but for the fact that a little bit after the furniture had been moved, I found Hubby sitting on the floor because he'd not been able to get up and slipped. So I knew then that something else would need to be done, but what? And that's about the time I wrote last night's "grumpy" post.

To be honest, I was really pretty angry. Of course, it wouldn't make sense to be angry at Hubby because he hadn't done anything wrong except to get hurt, but I kind of WAS angry at him anyway. But mostly I was just angry at LIFE and the things we have no control over. And that kind of anger is frustrating because there's no resolution to it. So I just wrote my post and went to bed.

This morning I got up and moved the furniture in the living room again. The result is that it LOOKS a lot better and Hubby can get up out of the recliner, although he's still having a hard time. At this point, though, we realize it's not the furniture and maybe it's time to install a pole in the living room so he can use it to pull himself up--we have one next to his side of the bed so he can get up in the mornings and it works well. (Lift chairs don't work for him because he doesn't have the back muscles needed to get up; same thing with canes and walkers. Mostly he straightens up by pushing up with his hands and forearms.)

After rearranging the furniture, I did some other straightening up and organizing around the house, and that lightened my mood some too. Then it was time to take Hubby to the surgery center, so we packed up our things, got in the car, and headed down there.

Poor Hubby--today was the second day he had to go without food or anything to drink most of the day. We checked him in and they took him back to prep him. A little before 2 p.m., they allowed me to go back and see him before surgery, and I was told that if I wanted get out for awhile and run a few errands, this would be the time to do it; I just needed to return by around 4 p.m.

Well, it was a good opportunity to grab an iced latte from Starbucks, do a couple Christmas errands, and get a few things from Trader Joe's for easy meals over the next couple days while Hubby recovers from surgery. I returned to the surgery center at 3:50 and sat in the waiting room for about 20 minutes before a nurse came out to ask who I was waiting for and led me back to see Hubby.

And, as it turns out, there was some kind of problem so they had to postpone surgery until tomorrow (Friday) at 5 p.m. Can you believe it?! Yep, I was pretty darn grumpy again. So mostly this afternoon, Hubby just took a nice little nap while I ran errands.

I took today off work to take Hubby to surgery, but I don't feel I can take another day off, so tomorrow Soccer Son will take Hubby to the surgery center while I work, and after I get off work, I'll go wait for him to be released and take him home. Assuming they FINALLY do the surgery.

Yes, I'm still grumpy tonight but I'm not as angry as I was last night. I suspect that anger without any direction or target can't really be sustained for very long. There are times with Hubby's disease that I get angry and frustrated, as I did the last couple days, but it passes, and then we try to deal with the cause as best we can. Hopefully Hubby will have the surgery tomorrow and he can begin to heal; hopefully he won't develop any complications; and hopefully he won't be in too much pain over the next few days. And I'm pretty sure HE's hoping I'll stop being so darn grumpy!

17 comments:

luv2quilt2 said...

I'll be thinking of you, and hope that your hubby's surgery goes as planned.

Dena said...

Life sure can be frustrating at times. Hope your husband's surgery goes as planned tomorrow and he has a quick and easy recovery. My prayers are with you.

Wilma NC said...

Now I am picturing you dancing around that pole for your husband, lol. I can imagine how frustrating this must be for both you and your husband. I hope the surgery gets done today!!!

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

It is so frustrating, and especially so at this time of year. There always seems to be so much to do. But sometimes it's just good to air out your feelings and let them go. I hope you all have a good week next week.

Anita said...

Yikes! I'm grumpy for you. Well I might be a little PMS, so it isn't too hard for me to be grumpy.
Hope today is a better day.

Molly said...

Wow Kim! You really do have a lot on your plate. I think I need to quit whining about my little frustrations and make a gratitude list. And I love Wilma's idea about the pole! Like Maxine says "When life hands you lemons........stick 'em in your bra. Can't hurt..might help!" LOL

Jen in NY said...

Oh for goodness sakes Kim, no wonder you're grumpy. Of course you get angry at your husband's illness...I think it would be weird not to. Hopefully the surgery will go well tonight and you both can move on. Just what you need the week before Christmas, right? Maybe some pole dancing will cheer you up! ;-)

Gran - Knot-y Embroidery Lady said...

The pole in the front room sounds like a great idea for both of you ... just keeping it real ...
Let's think about an intervention for you after the dust settles - perhaps T & Louise can go on a cruise ... just sayin' :o)

Sally said...

I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. I have been reading without commenting for a long time. I thought maybe it was time to let you know how much you are appreciated. You are so talented and I wish I lived close enough to take your classes. Your quilts are all so original and beautiful. I hope all goes well with your hubby and Merry Christmas.

carol fun said...

You have every right to be angry- you're human, not a saint (at least I don't think so) and all of that crazy running around is enought to drive a body crazy. I've been through this kind of situation with a adult sibling and even the most kind hearted person reaches a tipping point where you just gotta vent. I hope things went smoothly today so your weekend can start on a better note. Take care - love your blog!

PunkiePie (Jen) said...

Thinking of you. Can't be easy with everything falling apart right before the holidays. Hope things settle down soon and you can get back to business and enjoy life again.

debbie said...

We're here for ya girl! Vent away! Much better than springing a leak in your freeze valve...ask a car person to explain it to ya if it doesn't make sense.
Hope that surgery went well, and the household is in the Christmas spirit again by morning.
blessings

Anonymous said...

I understand completely how you feel and why you get angry. My husband had a MVA a few months before we were married and over the course of time, found that he had suffered brain damage to the extent that he is unable to sustain the type of work he was doing (top level management) and he was terminated from his position. In the years since then, he has been unable to either keep a job position or even get through an interview to get the job. He has tried to get on disability twice and now waiting to see if it will go through this time. I have been the sole bread winner since we have been married and sometimes I feel very resentful and angry that this is not what I "signed" up for. Don't get me wrong, I love him very much but don't know if I would have married him if I had known the future. Then when I say that, I feel horribly guilty. So you just hang in there girlfriend,

dianne said...

sheesh!!!

i thought that i had the pity pot reserved for the month of december - but you need it a WHOLE lot more than i do ... just don't let Hubby near it, cuz he might fall off and there's no telling WHAT he would break...

ytsmom said...

Keep your chin up. I know these things are frustrating, but you will be past this before you know it!

Candace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Quiltsmiles said...

Kim, Just breathe dear. Life is what happens while we're busy making other plans. I know this personally and only too well! Just thank goodness you are living in this century and not ome previous ones, he wouldn't be here probably, same as my husband. The Dr.s consider him a mystery of why he has the heart condition he has. Just smile and go on.

Jane