Thursday, March 25, 2010

I Think Zebras

Well, I've survived another bout of cancer--this time it was armpit cancer. No, of course I didn't REALLY have cancer. If you've read my blog for a bit, you'll know that I always think of the worst--and probably the most farfetched--diagnosis for each suspicious medical ailment. Mostly I think I have cancer a lot. In other words, when I hear hoof beats, I think zebras; not horses.

Last week, on Thursday, Gran and I had a little shopping excursion (I'll have to tell you more later--perhaps a Day of Beauty is in order soon) followed by lunch (yes, we DO seem to manage to work food into our excursions, don't we?!). I had been bothered by a bit of pain under my arm for a few days, and on Thursday, by the time we were at the restaurant, it seemed to be getting worse. By Saturday, I had convinced myself it was some kind of cancer that had metastasized into a lymph node. Or maybe it was a cancerous tumor. Cancer of the armpit. (I hadn't HEARD of armpit cancer, but maybe it's just not talked about a lot?! What do they PUT in deodorant anyway? Can it really be okay to use it day after day?) At times, the pain radiated from my armpit toward my back and if I pressed on the painful spot, it was a burning pain--kind of like when you were a kid and scraped all the skin off your knee. Remember that? (It probably wouldn't have hurt as much or as often if I had quit pressing on it, but it was hard to decide whether there was a lump/tumor or just a spot of intense pain, so I had to.)

I was supposed to see my workers' compensation doctor on Tuesday, although I wasn't sure if I should see HIM for my armpit cancer or whether I should make an urgent appointment with my own family physician, but in the end, I decided to wait. The pain was not as intense as it had been, and I finally reasoned that the burning nature of the pain may be due to nerve involvement--the reason I was seeing the workers' compensation doctor in the first place.

As I drove toward the doctor's office, I grew apprehensive. How do they treat armpit cancer? After all, they can't amputate an armpit. Would I ever see my cats again? The Sweat Shop? Hubby? Would I be rushed from the doctor's office to the hospital for surgery? (Was I wearing clean underwear?)

Yeah, you already know the outcome--it wasn't cancer after all. The doctor told me it was most likely related to the problem with my hands/arms because the pain was located in an area where a bunch of nerves come together and then travel down the arm to the hands. In fact, he thought I may have irritated the nerve as a result of the physical therapy exercises I was given to do at home. Which also supports my opinion that exercise is a dangerous thing, and my physical therapist was a sadist. But at least I don't have armpit cancer. Yep, I'm a survivor. Yay me. (And what color is the armpit cancer ribbon anyway?)

18 comments:

Wilma NC said...

So glad you survived, lol. I think the ribbon should be Secret blue.

ratherbquilting said...

OMG, we're separated at birth. I always think ridiculous, horrible things like that. The pounding heart keeps us young, right?

Kelly Ann said...

the ribbon would be brown...you'd have to wear a brown ribbon for armpit cancer...you knucklehead...

Nancy said...

Oh Kim...I am so glad you don't actually have arm pit cancer. Although I was all ready to get a raffle and 5K all organized to pay for your treatment...

And the ribbon? Powdery White...

ABamaMom said...

Thank goodness it wasn't the big "AC". 'Cause seriously...what's a Sweat Shop without an armpit!

Karen said...

KIm, I am totally in agreement with you about exercise! Good grief, people die while running!

Count me as another cancer worrier.

Yvonne said...

I'm really, so awfully glad to hear that you don't have armpit cancer.....that would be the pits. :)

Shelley said...

Silly people! The ribbon would be zebra striped of course! All Kim's ribbons would be zebra striped!LOL Glad to hear your gonna live to see any sadist therapy session!LOL Oh dear Kim, you gotta relax girl!

paulette said...

Well looks like you dodged another bullet! Whew!! The armpit ribbon for cancer would be black and hairy. I'm with you, lay off the exercise....
Take care!
Paulette

call me crazy said...

**giggle** Yep, it would be a zebra striped ribbon. Thanks for the giggles this morning! ;-)

Gran said...

Oh, Kim Dear - between your post and the comments I am chuckling and I wonder if I can run out and find the ribbon I think should be for Armpit Cancer - maybe I can find it before the Tea Party today.

PunkiePie said...

While I'm happy your pain was nothing serious, I found this post hysterical. Thanks for the laughs!

Jen in NY said...

I've "had" armpit cancer too. I think the worst all the time, can't help it. I'm married to a doctor who thinks I'm nuts. LOL

Glenda in Florida said...

I thought the armpit cancer ribbon would be yellow, but then that is probably already taken. So, I'm voting for zebra striped. Thanks for the chuckle. I'm a long time lurker on your blog.

Sinta Renee said...

You do have a funny sence of humor!

dianne said...

you are SO EXOTIC!!! when i hear hoof beats, i think donkeys

pale green and powder fresh (like Mitchum roll on - so strong you can skip a day) with little dark fuzzies

Kim said...

OMG!! I can sooo relate! Glad you dodged the bullet this time!

Greenmare said...

oh heavens! Daughter number 3 always thought she had a brain tumor whenever she had a headache! I think the ribbon color for armpit cancer is the same color as armpit hair. there, ugly thought!!!!
so glad you got over that one and I can only imagine WHAT it will be next! However you are totally right about physical therapists, and exercise! I ripped my rotator cuff moving a damn treadmill, remember that fun time? so I agree on those two things......... and probably a few other things since you are as loopy as me.