I guess you want to know if I've been good this year. What is "good" anyway?
Let's examine. According to the Yahoo reference dictionary, "good" is many things.
The first definition is being "positive or desirable in nature." Yep, that's me!
A little further on is "not spoiled or ruined." Well, at least I'm not ruined so far.
Am I of high quality? Let's just say yes.
Attractive; handsome? Mais oui!
Ample; substantial? Sadly.
Of moral excellence? Uh . . . .
So to recap: I'm positive in nature, not ruined, and I might be of high(ish) quality. Oh, and there's that attractive thing too. At least I'm pretty sure I'm reasonably attractive to someone who's been up all night, rushing around the world, and has come down the chimney in the dark. Unless you wake me up. Because if you wake me up, there's a bit of a chance that when I sit up in bed, whatever hair isn't stuck to my cheek with dried drool will be sticking straight up in the air. So maybe not attractive some of the time. But given an hour or two to prepare, I'm okay--call me before you get here.
You know what, though? Now that I've given it a little thought, Santa, it would probably be much easier--and less scary--for you to just have the nice people at the Fat Quarter Shop send me my gift from you this year. They're always so helpful and I'm sure they'd be more than happy to take some of the burden off your hands. And I know, too, that they can make sure it arrives before Christmas!
And I suppose, Santa, that if you're going to have the Fat Quarter Shop people help you out with my gift this year, rather than leave you my list under the glass of brandy with an egg nog chaser and those melt-in-your-mouth rum balls that I always make for you, I'd better tell you what I want, so you can let them know.
Opps! Wrong list! Sorry Santa! HERE'S the right list:
You see, I found when I was decorating my home this year that for some odd reason, I don't have very many Christmas/Winter quilts, so I'd be especially grateful to receive a kit to make one. This quilt's a beauty, don't you agree, Santa? I really like the fleur de lis in the center squares because they're French, and "fleur de lis," "mai oui," and "zut alors!" are some of the limited amount of French I know.
Also, did you know that George Clooney lives in Italy, which is kind of close to France? I was just thinking, Santa, that if you DON'T want to give me the quilt kit, then could you give me a vacation in France with a side trip to Italy to see George? You should know, though, that if I'm going to see George, I can't promise to be a good girl. But George and a stocking full of coal--well, I could live with it if I really can't have the Glace Frosted Windowpanes quilt kit. But one or the other--either/or--I'd be both merry AND bright on Christmas morning!
Thank you Santa!
P.S.: By the way, is it true that people have had your REAL name wrong all these years? I heard a rumor that when you first applied for your sleigh driver's license up there at the North Pole, you filled out the form "Jolly, Old St. Nick," and they didn't notice the comma. If that's the case and your LAST NAME is Jolly, maybe you can convince Kimberly at the Fat Quarter Shop that you're a long-lost relation and should get a family discount. Hey, it's worth a try!
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(To those of you who aren't Santa and are puzzled by my letter to the jolly old dude, click on over to the Jolly Jabber for an explanation.)