Friday, July 17, 2009

The Blog Post That Will Not Die

Gosh, I've been kind of surprised at all the reaction to my earlier post this week about "gifts" from Hubby and my occasional less-than-nice thoughts. Or, to be more accurate, it didn't quite surprise me at FIRST, but I've tried distracting all of you with cross-stitch pillows and berry cobbler recipes the last couple of days, but you still want to comment on that post! So I guess we're not quite done yet.

Of course, there's always more to a story, and there's more story behind each of those gifts I mentioned in that first post, but that wasn't really the point of the post--my grumpiness was the point. And it seems from the comments left that many of you have had similar experiences and thoughts along life's rocky road. Although this particular post focused on experiences with a spouse, I'm sure we'd all have just as many stories to tell if the subject was our relationships with our parents, our children, or anyone else we've lived with for some time. It's not always sunshine and laughter in any relationship, although I think there's a certain blessing to be found in our ability to laugh at some of the "relationship stuff" instead of cry!

From the comments, I see that some of us have been unfortunate in our relationships. I know what that's like. My first marriage didn't work out, and truthfully, the first five to ten years of my marriage with Hubby--well, let's just say that I was the romantic one and he--not so much. Somewhere along the way, that changed. Relationships--long term ones--are like that; up and down, ebb and flow, but obviously there's something there that makes us keep going.

There were a couple comments that seemed to question a bit whether I do nice things for Hubby--or maybe it was just my reading of the comments and they weren't intended that way at all. But of course I do. Marriage is a partnership and each of us is thoughtful of the other. But I don't feel the need to talk about the wonderfulness of myself--that wasn't what it was about. Hubby can tell you what bliss it is to be married to me--or not, as the case may be. But he's still here, so I guess I'm not too bad.

And I wasn't trying to make Hubby look bad in that post. There are plenty of stories from the 29 years of our marriage that would have done the job better if that was my intent. (And I'm sure that door swings both ways!) I can tell you, too, that if you had the impression I don't appreciate Hubby, that's not the case. Hubby does plenty of things that are completely wonderful, like when I find he's cut a single rose from the garden and put it in a bud vase somewhere for me to find, or when I come home from work and he asks whether I'd like an iced latte. Those simple little thoughtful gestures are the ones I appreciate most, without any of those grumpy thoughts I mentioned in that prior post.

And my grumpy self? Well, two weeks ago, on July 3rd, I quit smoking, cold turkey, so I have a free pass that allows me to be grumpy, cranky, depressed, and out-of-sorts for a little while still. But that's another blog post for another day. Thanks for stopping in to visit.

33 comments:

Orcsmom said...

Kim,
I totally forgot that you quit smoking. It's been so long since I saw you. Anyway, hang in there, I here for ya, and I can't wait to share what I find on my adventures this week-end in Alameda and Oakland. I'll take my funky green camara for lots of pictures! Have a great Friday, and I'll have a ice latte in your honor tomorrow!

Hugs!
Pam

Eileen said...

Now , she finally fessed up on why she's been so grumpy. Hang in there gal.

ratherbquilting said...

Kim, I don't think you've been grumpy and I don't think you should have to defend yourself. (And THIS is why I don't have a blog - who needs criticism from strangers - I get enough criticism from my friendds, LOL.) Anyone who has been married for longer than a few months knows that there can be things about our husbands that just irritate the heck out of us. That does not mean we don't love them!!!!!! Jeez...I loved my mom, too, but I surely could not have lived with her for the past 32 years as I have with DH, LOL!

BJ said...

Good for you for quitting! I know from firsthand experience what a challenge this is. Drinking lots of water and sugar-free hard candy got me through it.

Kelly Ann said...

Yeah for you on quitting...it's been 20+ years for me and no I don't miss it but my mother will tell you that after 25 years she would pick it back up in a heartbeat...me can't stand the smell now.

Lorraine said...

Hang in there GF!! I have never been a smoker but know that it is a tough habit to kick! Good luck ...and keep us posted! I knew where you were coming from with "that" post....and hubby must love you chin hairs and all..and I agree it is more about you than it is about the gift....I totally get it...LOL....like "thanks for bringing me a cuppa.....would have much preferred an oj though" of course I only think that...never say it...LOL.....my kids even glare at me sometimes when they think I have been ungrateful for something the Prince has done for me...LOL....

Marian said...

That was my birthday! And the day I started my diet (well at midnight, after the cake, LOL). So I have been a little grumpy too.

Quitting smoking is the best gift you can give yourself - and Hubby! I quit when I was pregnant, many moons ago. We're all rooting for you!

QuiltingFitzy said...

Go go girl!

Beth said...

Congrats on quitting smoking. I quit cold turkey twice, second time stuck, it will get better for you each and every day! Hang in there!

Judy said...

Were you grumpy??? I didn't notice! I noticed that you are human, have feelings and are hilarious. And I think our husbands could be twins. :)

Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I have ever done and that includes giving birth 4 times! 2 1/2 years for me and there are still some days I wonder if I'll make it through the day.

Snippen' Threads said...

I totally "get" the husband post. It doesn't mean you don't love him. Gee! Good luck with the smoking thing. This August 20th(who's counting) will be 9 years since I quit - it is really Hell to go through and makes you wonder why it is a legal drug.!!

dianne said...

you ARE Wonder Woman! and i don't mean that you stand in the middle of the room muttering, "i wonder ... i wonder" ....... no, no, no - you are the one with the lasso of truth and the gold wrist bands that can block bullets - the bravest of the brave ...... and quitting smoking is the best gift that you can give to yourself, so hang in there!

debijeanm said...

You're so awesome! And congratulations on quitting smoking. DH taught college level for 35 years and talked to dozens (hundreds?) of students who were kicking drug addictions of all kinds. The verdict was unanimous - tobacco is the hardest, even worse than cocaine and heroin to kick. So hang in there. You're worth it.

paulette said...

Well done on quiting smoking! You may feel grumpy on the outside but inside your lungs are doing a happy dance! Kiss your hubby-I'm sure he's proud of you! And have another slice of cobbler.....
Paulette

shauna said...

Congrats on quiting smoking! I quit about 13 years ago right after I started quilting. After a few weeks I really never wanted to smoke again. Quilting really helped, as it gave me something to do with my hands. Just tell yourself you'll live a lot longer and be able to use up more of your stash as a result, AND you can spend the money on FABRIC!

Carol said...

Well good for you quitting smoking, keep it up it's worth the occasional grummpies. I totally have done that too on my birthday. I don't want to be ungrateful for the gifts I get but you know sometimes it seems like you get something they just happen to pick up at Walgreens or something. I get stuff I don't like too but I don't tell the gift giver that. But sometimes you actually get an awesome gift and it's usually from a friend. Like for instance my blog friends know just what I like, I got an awesome handmade quilted table runner from my friend Nancy for my last birthday. I've never even met Nancy in person just through my Yahoo group and we email each other all the time. Yep, my best friends are my quilting blogging friends. Have a nice day, my friend.

Amy R said...

Congrats on quitting smoking! I did cold turkey as well. . . 25 years ago! We are all human, and we all need to realize with that we are works in progress. . . Hang in there. . .

debby said...

You quit smoking? Grump away! And good luck.

Linda said...

What a brave, brave woman! I smoked for 45 years and used the drug Champix (Canada) to quit almost exactly one year ago. I'm still wishing for a smoke on occasion though! However, with the money saved I've been able to buy a new to me car and tons and tons of fabric so you go girl! (And it was really, really hard to tell people! I guess cause it made it more real?) Lurking Linda

Winona said...

Kim, I am so proud of you. Keep at it and you will win. Your lungs are loving you. Winona

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

Congratulations on two weeks of not smoking! That is absolutely awesome!!

Kim said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
julieQ said...

I am so proud of you! I often tell my patients that they have saved their own life by quiting smoking. Proud, proud, I tell you! Hey, about the other posts, this is your blog and I think you should post whatever you want to post. You started a lot of people thinking, that can't be bad, right? Have a super day!!
JulieK

Jeannie said...

Congratulations on quitting! You have done something that I have struggled with all summer. How did you quit? Please let me know! As to the grumpies - well, you were just being honest and I find that refreshing! I have had the same feelings/thoughts and finally sat hubby down and we discussed gifts. It was an eye opener for both of us and really made gift giving more enjoyable. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing your life with us. Have a great weekend. Cheers.

Quilt Hollow said...

Quit smoking...you ROCK!! (at one point I was going to ask if you were menopausal) LOL It all makes sense. No apologies to anybody for anything...it is afterall YOUR BLOG. Loved the cobbler distraction...food always does that!

Owens Family Adventures said...

Wow!!! Congrats on the whole quitting smoking!!! That is a huge HUGE accomplishment! :)
I didn't think you sounded crabby at all with your question.....it was just something you were thinking about at the time and you asked if we ever felt the same way.
Hugs to you girlfriend!!!
dawn

Jen in NY said...

I am so happy for you that you quit smoking!! Good for you, Kim. That is truly awesome. Hang in there!

I still don't think you were being grumpy though. :-)

Anonymous said...

Kim,

WAY TO GO!!! Stay strong quitting smoking. It has to be tough. Your blog is entertainment, education and inspiration for a LOT of people. Keep up the great work.

Molly in Sumner, WA
Mollylivebearer@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Congrats on quitting smoking, and everyone is entitled to be on the grumpy side from time to time. Everyone here has ups and downs and is probably going through something from time to time. How public you want to make it is up to you. In my opinion, some things (regarding your thoughts about the 'thoughtless' gifts from your hubby) are better left unsaid, or at least said with some explanation.

kimquiltz @ an oft traveled road said...

Good Lord, Woman, the fact that you haven't KILLED anyone yet (that I know of) is reason enough for you to get a medal! I quit smoking almost a year ago (August 19) and I can relate. Atta girl, you're doing great!

Chris said...

I didn't think you were grumpy. You just said you hated feeling the way you felt. I totally understood what you were saying.
Congratulations on quitting cold turkey! I did it too, 23 and a half years ago. I did it one day at a time. Believe it or not, I still dream that I've started smoking again. I think I can handle just one and then I've smoked several packs! Then I wake up and find I was just dreaming. What's up with that?! Anyway, I'm very proud of you for joining the quitters club!
chris

AnnieO said...

So now you have a new title: Non-smoker. Someday, I hope it is sooner rather than later, you'll not have to stumble over saying that title! Congratulations on extending your life by 11 minutes for each one you don't smoke...more time to quilt!

Gran said...

I love you girl!
I see little happy feet dancing all of your lungs - and they are smiling!