Saturday, May 2, 2009

Because The Weekend Has Arrived . . .


IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas. Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas.

However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

- Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration

- Erotic lustfulness

- Loss of motor control

- Loss of clothing

- Loss of money

- Loss of virginity

- Loss of bladder control

- Attraction to ugly men

- Table dancing

- Headache

- Dehydration

- Dry mouth

- And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

*Margaritas are also available in generic form, known as tequila. Just as effective and costs only a fraction.

Happy Dos de Mayo--or something like that!

17 comments:

Louise SS said...

You sure know how to put a smile on my face!!! It is good to start the day with a smile, (specially when weeding is todays task).

Orcsmom said...

I will bring Advil to class for ya Kim! How's the new fridge? Where's a picure of it? See ya later at class.

Pam

KC Quilter said...

I LOVE this!!! Thanks for starting my day off right! PS Long live margaritas and jimmy buffett!

Yvonne said...

Is this the the voice of experience?????

Laurie said...

You are a hoot! You just put a smile on my face! Tonite - is margarita nite.

Have a fabalous day!

MichelleB said...

I saw this on another blog, and about died laughing! It is hysterical. Thanks for sharing.

Kim said...

This is great! Yes, it does seems to be the cure... LOL Too funny... Thanks for sharing...

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious! Loved it!

chris in sac said...

Consumption of Margaritas may lead you to believe that people are laughing WITH you!

Judy said...

OH man do I love those! Not frozen with salt!

Greenmare said...

you may not want to include the fact that a large marguerita has about 700 calories in it though. that could be off-putting to certain memebers of the female sex!

Mary on Lake Pulaski said...

chuckle, chuckle, chuckle....

~Michelle~ said...

Happy Weekend! And I'm fairly certain I will have a margarita tonight!

Lisa said...

No wonder I didn't answer yes to any of those ... i LOVE margaritas...happy cinco de mayo!

floribunda said...

Don't forget to mention that straight tequila is definitely the "fast-acting" version... (OMG I still remember how bad I felt the next day!)

Sinta Renee said...

You are helarious! I was backtracking to see what I missed over the weekend... this post was to funny! Your class over the weekend looked like a good one to take just for the goodies and treats! You are setting the bar high for other teachers!

Amanda said...

This is too funny!

Your hat class looks like fun. I love the little hat pin cushions. You spoil everyone when you teach a class.