Monday, March 3, 2008

The Cosmic Diet

Red Geranium Sharon has blogged a couple times lately about her struggle with menopause while I have the opposite problem--I can hardly wait to get past the monthly cramps that ruin an otherwise perfectly fine three days or so a month as well all the other physical, emotional, and hormonal weirdness that occurs. In fact, I'm thinking about looking into a DIY hysterectomy. Do you think a person could do a hysterectomy with a rotary cutter and a 3X makeup mirror? But then I remember there's also the clumsiness that seems to go along with the weird hormones, so maybe a DIY hysterectomy ISN'T such a good idea after all. But really, 40 years of this is about 20 years too many at least, and it just seems to keep getting worse.

Either because of hormone-driven food cravings or just because I was feeling sorry for myself, all morning today I had visions of a McDonald's double cheeseburger floating around in my head. And fries. Salty, yummy fries and a greasy double cheeseburger. Eventually, I headed to the office kitchen to see if I still had any diet lunches in the freezer. Yep, one left. So really I had absolutely no good excuse to go to McDonald's or anywhere else for lunch. I headed back to my desk to sit back and observe the battle between my conscience and my cravings. I guess I should mention that since my husband and I decided to cut back on junk food and make more of an effort to eat healthy foods back in August, I've only given in to McDonald's cheeseburgers maybe twice, and as far as I can recall, I passed up the fries on both occasions. So succumbing to a craving for grease and salt is not something I do lightly. Still, those darn burgers and fries WOULD NOT leave my head!

I finally gave up the fight around 1 p.m. and headed out to my car. I started the engine and put the car into reverse. It moved backward about a half foot before the engine died. I started it again, again I put it into reverse, and once again I moved about another half foot before the engine died. When I started the car a third time, the engine was slow to turn over, and the smell of gas tipped me off that much more of this would cause the engine to flood. With a fair amount of resignation, I put the car in drive and pulled forward a foot or so, back into my parking place. I locked the car and went back into the office to microwave my less-than-satisfying frozen diet lunch.

Obviously cosmic forces were at work today, ensuring that I did not weaken. Of course, at the end of the day, the car started right up, I reversed out of my parking space without an engine sputter, and I drove home without a problem.

My car is about due for a maintenance check anyway, so I'll have to get this problem checked out. I wonder if I can find a repair shop that's next door to a McDonald's? Why yes, as a matter of fact, I WOULD like fries with that tune up!


QuiltingFitzy said...

Good car.

Good, good car.

Keep your driver healthy in spite of her french-fried brainwaves!

Don't let yourself get so hungry. Take good snacks like yogurt or an apple for those snackable times at work.

I'm back on the wagon, have lost 21# since Christmas. The loosing is easy for me, it's the "keeping" that's the challenge.

Su Bee said...

hee hee hee, haa haa haa,, *snort snort* ROFL! Clearly you and your car have a 'special' relationship! Something about the springs or suspension that she's protecting? omg -- too too funny!

Anonymous said...

Be carefull what you wish for!!!! I used to have monthly cramps too, but now I'm going through hot flashes every 20 minutes! And since menopause is hormonal too, the foodcravings are still here (and the weight increases:( )Why oh why do we women have to suffer so much??
I have fabric cravings too, but I can live with those:)

Amanda said...

I just recently had a hysterectomy. I wasn't scared about the surgery as much as I was scared about the menopause. My doctor prescribed me a patch that I switch out every week. So far, so good. She said my family would notice if it wasn't working. They said I haven't been grumpy, moody, or crying! I have also noticed that I haven't been hungry or had cravings! I did have some hot flashes after my surgery, but my doctor said that my body was stressed out (I went downhill for about a week). Since then I haven't had any, thank God. I never want to go through another one of those again!

Crazy for Primitive Quilts & Gardens said...

Aargh.... I am not looking forward to menopause! Is it really gonna be that bad???

Thimbleanna said...

Women of the world unite!!! Stand up and demand our hysterectomies LOL!!! Seriously, I've long been and advocate that we should all be offered a hysterectomy when the baby-doin is all over. Get rid of those little cancer magnets, I say. I was a lucky one and had an excuse to have my parts ripped out. I LOVED every minute of it and never looked back. Next to children's birthdays, yaddayadda, it was the best day of my life!

mamaspark said...

Be very careful what you wish for. Menopause sucks! BIG TIME! Hot flashes, CRS, insomnia, forgetfulness, weight gain just to name a few of the "wonderful" things you go through. No periods is 2 thumbs up but you can get that with a uterine ablation (not sure of the spelling) but the just have to hope it doesn't last too long!

Red Geranium Cottage said...

Hell,I'd be tuning up my car every freakin day if I could get fries with that. Would you STOP!!! Those look soooo good. And did you say double cheeseburger?? OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm hungry!! And just thinking bout it makes me feel better already. OH and I'd be free to perform that hysterectomy in a moments notice. Just cause I like you.

Julia said...

Thanks to this post and the pictures, guess what I had for dinner today? Yep, cheeseburger and fries! Hubby is working nights this week and after picking up my son from school and running a few errands, he says, "Mom, can we eat at McDonald's tonight?" I had been thinking about your post all day, so I said, "Sure!"
There you have it, you have an evil influence upon me. roflol!!!!

atet said...

I admire your willpower in the face of those cravings. Me? I would have borrowed someone's car to get to the salty goodness. :0)

Your new ironing board cover is very cute -- but even cuter are those tulips and the bunny with them. Wow. Ok, I need to stop goofing around and get back to some serious quilt making!

Nan said...

I'd take fries with a tune up, that's for sure! I think I'd like fries with just about anything, actually! You've made me hungry for salt and grease, you bad girl!
Having come out the other end of menopause, I will say I still have cravings on occasion, so the body doesn't forget all those years of madness (well, for me anyway!).