Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Valentine Gifts



Who first came up with the idea of sexy nighties for Valentine's Day? It might be a nice thought for our friends in the southern hemisphere where it's nice and warm, but the northern hemisphere? Hey, have you looked outside lately? It's FEBRUARY for goodness sake! There's SNOW on the ground!

I'm pretty sure it was a man. I was thinking about it earlier tonight when I was cooking dinner (something also likely dreamed up by some man back in caveman days). If I try real hard, I think I can hear echos of that first Valentine nightie negotiation.

Man: "Hey, honey, if I give you flowers for Valentine's Day, would you wear this for me?"

Woman: "Are you out of your mind? It's the middle of WINTER! It's always the same thing with you, isn't it?!"

Man: "What if I give you flowers AND chocolates? Would you wear it then?"

Woman: "Well . . . What kind of chocolates?"

Man: "Uh, how about the ones in the heart shaped box that they sell down at the drug store?"

Woman: "No way! Absolutely not! Take that nightie and wear it yourself for awhile and see how YOU like it!"

Man: "Well, what kind of chocolates do you want?"

Woman: "Godiva. Godiva chocolates and two dozen roses."

Man: "Okay, I can do that. Is it a deal then?"

Woman: "Let me see that. Why are there pieces cut out of the fabric? You should take it back to the store and get a new one--there's something wrong with that one. I hope they gave you a discount for the damage. No, I don't think I can wear that one."

Man: "What if I give you two dozen roses, Godiva chocolates, and a pair of earrings?"

Woman: "It's February, you know. Winter?! Can I wear a robe over it?"

Man: "How about this: What if I give you two dozen roses, Godiva chocolates, a pair of DIAMOND earrings . . . ."

We should have held out for more. It's WINTER! It's COLD! And now I'm going to have to shave my legs again. Darn!

13 comments:

Eileen said...

Boy, I wonder what you'll come up with on Valentines Day.? Are you hoping your honey will read this blog?

Kristie said...

You are just too funny!!! I always enjoy reading your blog, it's always a great pick-me-up!!!
Kristie

Darlene said...

You are one sick woman! LOL

Tamara said...

You could turn the furnance up then at least you wouldn't freeze. Past that your on your own. It's too cold here for anything less than flannel in February. ;-)

Julia said...

You are going to have to shave more that your legs if you are going to wear that thing!!!!! ROFLOL

Linda said...

Yeah I'd say it would also include armpits and bikini line and maybe even more. I agree with the others your sick.....lol...... glad I'd swallowed my orange juice. I'm learning, have an empty mouth......

Winona said...

Kim,
You are just the funniest. I always come away from your blog with laughter in my heart. Thank you!
Winona

mamaspark said...

ROFLOL!! You are just so funny! I think the worst part is shaving of the legs. Makes me cold just thinking about it! (and I can here the man saying("I'll warm you up!", Right? You are right...we should have held out for more!

Red Geranium Cottage said...

Oh come on you should wear it for the poor guy!! Give me a Valentine's day he'll never forget. ROFLOL!!

Su Bee said...

Haa haa, heee hee hee -- snort snort -- ROFLMBO -- Awww, c'mon on! Whaddya think champagne is for? The better the bottle the more it warms you up --- ROFL!!!

Judy said...

Oh, goodness . . I'm going to remove you from my bloglines just so DH doesn't accidentally find your blog and get any ideas.

Suzan said...

While living alone was not my idea, I have come to appreciate one small thing in particular. No leg shaving unless I FEEL like it! This also comes in particularly helpful living in northern climes during winter. Should I need to expose my legs, black tights cover just about anything!
Love your blog...

Nan said...

Oh Ms. Kim! You are just tooooooo funny, woman! I don't know about the chocolates and the roses, but the diamond earrings - 1 carat each ear, thank you - and a $500 gift cert to my favorite quilt shop, and I'd wear both of those skimpy outfits!! As for shaving my legs......do they care? Nope!