Rapture

No, I'm not talking about how I feel about spending a day in the Sweat Shop. I'm talking biblical. You know it's coming this Saturday, right? May 21, 2011, according to Harold Camping and Family Radio.

Did I talk about this before? I remember thinking about writing a blog post when I started seeing billboards in our area, but I don't remember whether I did.

Well, I suppose it has to happen someday, but I'm pretty skeptical about the May 21st date. How did Camping calculate that particular date? I'll paste in an excerpt from an article you can find HERE.

"Here's the gist of Camping's calculation: He believes Christ was crucified on April 1, 33 A.D., exactly 722,500 days before May 21, 2011. That number, 722,500, is the square of 5 x 10 x 17. In Camping's numerological system, 5 represents atonement, 10 means completeness, and seventeen means heaven. 'Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story,' Camping said on his Oakland-based talk show, Family Radio, last year. 'It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved.' He added, 'I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that.'"

So what's going to happen on Saturday? A huge, world wide earthquake will occur. It will be so tremendous that graves will open and all of the good Christians will ascend into Heaven. Thereafter, the rest of us--and I'm guessing that will include me for many reasons, not the least of which is the way I poke fun at the apocalypse--will hang around on Earth for another five months suffering all the tortures of aitch-e-double ell.

At 50-something, I've seen a lot of end-of-the-world deadlines come and go. The first time I remember was when I was in elementary school and an earthquake was supposed to crumble California into the ocean. For days I was really, really worried, especially since it was supposed to happen the day before Easter at 3 in the afternoon, and I knew I couldn't swim well enough to survive in the ocean long enough for the Easter bunny's visit. On that Saturday afternoon, my family dyed Easter eggs, and when I checked the clock, the deadline had already passed. I can't tell you how relieved I was!

At work today I was thinking about this newest end of the world prediction and wondering what would happen if . . . . So I thought I should email the people in charge of personnel and let them know there was an outside possibility I wouldn't be at work on Monday. Here's my email, which I titled "In Case I'm Not Here on Monday":

"I just wanted to remind you that Saturday, May 21st, is Judgment Day, and while it's NOT the end of the world (which is to occur on October 21st), it IS the day on which Christians will rise up to Heaven. However, unless God is awfully liberal about the whole Christian thing, I don't think I'll be in that group. So I SHOULD be here for the next five months, at least. But also? There are a couple staff members who might be in that first group through the gates, so let me know if there's anything I can do next week to fill in if they're gone."

Yeah, I already know I'm bad--you don't need to tell me. But I really can't take end of world predictions very seriously. Still, I think I'll hold off on cleaning house until Sunday. Just in case I'm wrong.